Thorns
by NiceAndInsane
Summary: He couldn't concentrate on that. He had to focus on the positive side. "What positive side?" another part of him laughed. "There IS no positive side! Who would've thought? The cool and mighty Soul Eater being used in the worst way possible!" Heed Rating!
1. Never Wanted to Dance

AN- **This story is rated M for a reason**- _and I will not tell you why because I do not want to spoil it yet but it is revealed in this chapter. It's probably a little obvious, but I suppose that's for you to decide.  
Yes, cell phones exist in this story.  
And yes, in this story, the moon only bleeds when something bad happens (this will make sense later). _

_I'm not sure how regularly I will be updating this story, but I will try my best not to keep you waiting for long. This is the first fan fiction I'm posting, but not the first I'm writing. Please read and review~_

**I do not own the characters or anything else, except the plot.**

"_Never wanted to dance with nobody, but you wouldn't take no for an answer you fucking bitch_."  
-Never Wanted to Dance by Mindless Self Indulgence

Chapter 1

_Tic. Tock. Tic. Tock._

Maka stared at the clock, hugging her knees.

She tried to ignore the weariness tugging her eyes close, determined to stay awake until Soul came back.

He had left earlier, around four or five in the afternoon, saying that he was going to play basketball with Black Star and Kid. He mentioned something about coming back no later than eight before zooming out the door.

She kept herself busy by doing chores and homework as time flew by. The clock's hour hand reached eight and still no Soul. She didn't worry much. Maybe they were still playing. No big deal. Even though there was still school tomorrow, it wasn't that late.

The moon rose higher in the sky, panting like always and drooling blood. Her anxiety rose a little as the clock showed it was nine 'o clock at night. She had called his cell phone, hoping he would answer her. Her fear spiked when the voice mail picked up.

"_This is Soul. I didn't answer, so that means I'm too cool to talk to you. You shouldn't expect a call back eith-"_

Without listening to the ending of his voice mail, Maka dialed Tsubaki's house, asking if Soul had gone over. To her dismay, he hadn't, but Black Star was already home. She thought that was strange, considering how they had gone out to play together and that the assassin was back before her own partner.

Maka had thanked her friend anyway, insisting that she was fine and she'd call Tsubaki back if she needed any help.

She had waited until ten to call Kid's house, only to have her hopes dashed once again when Liz told her that Soul hadn't gone there either (though, she had suspected that from the beginning, since it didn't seem like Kid and Soul were that close anyway. She just had to make sure).

Around ten-thirty, she had gotten tired of waiting and gone out to look for him. She had called out his name and gone to all of his favorite stores, the ones he liked to visit when he wanted to be out and alone, but no one had seen him.

At eleven-thirty, she went back to the apartment, trying to comfort herself with the thought that maybe he had gotten back while she was out. He would be sitting on the couch of their living room, probably wondering where SHE had gone. Then she would get angry and upset and teach him a good lesson involving a book… to the head! Then he'd hold his busted skull and demand what he deserved that for, which she would yell that he had made her worried sick. They would argue until Soul would feel guilty and apologize which would, in turn, make Maka feel guilty. Then she'd ask what he had been up to, he would tell her, and everything would be resolved.

Her mood brightened up considerably with those thoughts, so you can imagine how disappointed and afraid she was when she opened the door to find an empty apartment.

Having nothing else to do, she was now sitting on their comfortable couch, waiting for Soul to come home, and staring at the clock that read _12:48 am._

She picked up her cell phone mechanically, dialing the number she memorized by heart. She counted the times it rang. Three… four… five… six… seven…eight…

"_This is Soul. I didn't answer-"_

"Why don't you answer your phone," she growled, ending the call. "Stupid Soul."

Not even a minute after she called him, her phone buzzed. 'New text message,' the screen read.

She lifted an eyebrow and flipped her phone open.

_Maka dnt worry bout me. Im fine. Ill b home soon._

As she read the message, she couldn't help it as her anger rose.

_U idiot!! Y wont u answer my calls!? Do u know how long ive been waiting 4 u 2 come back home!? Ive been worried sick!! _She fumed, getting even more agitated by the need to use "text speak" in order to send the message faster.

She hit the send button and flipped her phone shut, throwing it next to her on the couch. She finally felt relief washing over her, knowing that her partner was at least alive. She was, however, furious that he had refused to answer her calls and hadn't even bothered to call her and tell her that he would be coming home late. He hadn't even given her specifics about where he was.

She frowned, once again staring at the clock. She waited and waited but received no response to her text, which further ignited her anger.

She vaguely wondered if this is how house wives felt when they waited late at night for their husbands to come home.

Shaking her head at the strange comparison, Maka broke out of her thoughts as the door to their apartment opened silently, carefully, fearfully. Soul stepped in, eyes trained on the ground.

Maka, eager to ventilate her anger, jumped from her seat and immediately began drilling him with questions. "Soul! Where have you been?! Do you have any idea what time it is!? It is now 1:10 in the morning! Why didn't you call me!? Do you have any idea how worried I was!? Dammit, I-"

She cut herself off, finally noticing his ruffled appearance. His clothes were crumpled and his hair looked like he just used his fingers as a brush. His general aura seemed gloomy, and he hadn't looked up at her once through out her entire rant. He usually interrupted her before she could even finish her first sentence.

Deducing that Maka wasn't going to finish her lecture, Soul spoke. "Sorry if I worried you. Look, I'm pretty wiped out, so I'm going to take a shower then hit the sack."

Even his voice sounded… _off_.

Maka had to consciously force her jaw to stop from dropping as his words sunk in. "That's it?! No explanation? No telling me where you were? What happened, Soul!? Talk to me! _Look_ at me!"

Soul ignored her, walking stiffly to their bathroom.

Worry overpowered her anger. "Soul, are you hurt?"

She didn't miss the way his muscles stiffened. "No. Why?"

"You're walking… weird."

The teen-scythe just shrugged. "You're reading too much into my walking, I guess. Freak." He threw a smirk over his shoulder at her, but she could tell his mind wasn't in on it.

He closed the bathroom door gently, and a few moments later she heard the water running. She sighed, collapsing on the couch.

Something was wrong with Soul, and she knew that it had to do with the fact that he came home almost five hours later than he said he would. She just couldn't imagine what could have possibly made Soul so out of loop.

Then, something she noticed earlier came to her mind. Something that seemed really very unimportant and not a very useful in this situation. But the fact wouldn't stop bugging her.

Didn't the moon only bleed when something bad happened?

But that was a stupid thought, because who knew if that was actually true? It could be just a coincidence (a scary one, but a coincidence alright.) And even if it did bleed when something bad occurred, it didn't necessarily mean it happened to SOUL. It could've happened to anyone in Death City… right?

Deciding that it was too late to think about these things, she headed off to bed, promising herself she would talk to him about it tomorrow.

In the shower, Soul put the water at the highest setting. It scalded his skin, making it turn slightly red, but that was okay. It was exactly what he needed. He needed this filth off his skin. He couldn't stand this creepy crawly feeling that lurked in his every thought.

He felt dirty and disgusted, and his body hurt like hell. Bruises flowered all over his skin and cuts were reopened as he scrubbed and scrubbed his body with soap. It felt like the grime was weighing him down, and no matter how hard he washed it wouldn't come off.

It was only until the water ran cold that he decided it was time to get out. Estimating by how long it felt like he had been in there, he presumed it was about twenty minutes to two in the morning. He could feel his eyes drooping as he dried his battered body, but the mere thought of sleep frightened him.

He swiped the mirror with his hand so it wasn't foggy anymore and glanced at himself. He was an utter mess. It was a wonder how Maka hadn't noticed the bruise on his face (not that he'd actually given her a chance to see it in the first place). But there was no escaping it tomorrow.

What excuse would he tell her? He knew very well he couldn't tell her the truth. It was just… _disgusting_. And dangerous for her. _He _had warned him very clearly if he ever peeped a word to anyone of what had happened tonight, Maka would be hurt.

_He_ had also made him understand that this was definitely not the last time it would happen. Fuck, Soul really didn't want a replay of this, but he'd rather it happen to him than to Maka. He was simply doing his job as a weapon, a partner, a friend. He was protecting her, just like he said he always would.

And besides, it was _just_ sex… right? Even though he wasn't exactly willing…

Soul sighed, tipping his head, and gripping both sides of the sink with hands tightly. Who was he kidding? It was… rape (he cringed at the thought), no matter how you looked at it.

But he couldn't concentrate on that. He'd drive himself insane. He had to think of the positive side (_what positive side?_ another part of him laughed. _There is no positive side! It's just you being raped_! _Who would've thought? The cool and mighty Soul Eater being used in the worst way possible_!)

He shook his head. He lost his virginity. So what? He wasn't a girl; he didn't care. No, he hadn't exactly pictured his first time to be quite so painful or humiliating… but…

_Fuck, _he thought when he realized he was trembling.

He turned on the faucet, cupping his hands under the water and splashing his face. He had to forget about this… the sooner the better.

He dressed quickly into his sleeping clothes, wincing at the multiple injuries that hurt in places it shouldn't hurt. He gagged at that thought, but forced his mind to not dwell on it.

He exited the bathroom, shivering as the coldness assaulted his skin. After being under the hot water for so long, the freezing air seemed unusually foreign to him.

He quietly made his way to his own bedroom, not wanting to disturb Maka's sleep. Once he was in there, he flipped on the light, locked the door behind him, and leaned against it wearily, releasing a puff of breath. He glanced around his room, eyes roaming through every surface as though he had never been in there before. He felt strangely uncomfortable in there, and he felt like if something were missing or something had changed.

Well… a lot of things had changed that night. But he wasn't going to think about that.

He yawned widely and creeped into his bed, pulling up the covers to his chin. He felt awfully cold, and the blanket not only provided warmth, but a strange sense of comfort too. He felt like it would protect him from the evilness of the world.

What a childish thought.

Laughing at himself, he fell asleep, even though he knew exactly what and who he would be dreaming about.


	2. The Preyingmantis

1/24/10_- I wrote and re-wrote the beginning of this chapter a billion times! I'm not sure why I wrote it this way; it's just the way it came out and I didn't feel like writing it over again. I know it doesn't match the chapter (or the story) but it's a dream/flashback, so meh. :)_

**I don't own.**

"_I hung you on a limb, made you bend over backwards on a sin. Throw it all away, wash you off in the shower. I'm gagging myself. I'm brushing out the foul taste you left in my mouth."_  
-The Preyingmantis by Porcelain and the Tramps

Chapter 2

You hear about it everyday on TV, on the radio, in the newspaper.

_Shouting. Panic. Confusion. Uncertainty. Alarm. Fear._

_Realization._

But it seems like something you read in a book; surreal, untouchable, so far away from your grasp, like it has nothing to do with you.

_Appalled. Disgusted. Disturbed. Shocked. Disbelieving. Paralyzed._

_Afraid._

But then he's on top of you, and reality gives you a nice, hard slap on the face.

_Panting. Moaning. Roaming. Pleading. Creaking. Screaming._

_Fucking._

And you think about all those stories you heard about the victims and wonder how they ever lived through it.

_Hopeless. __Loveless. Helpless. Worthless. Voiceless. Clothes-less. _

_Painful._

As much as you try to imagine that you're somewhere else, your body betrays you and you feel it all, live it all, and it's all engraved into your memory.

_Hands. Lips. Eyes. Neck. Chest. Ass._

_Dick._

And you feel so ashamed and humiliated and just want it all to end so badly that you resort to begging, even if you know that's exactly what he wants. Rape is not and never will be about romance; it's just a show of power, of dominance. So he revels in your pleading, and does it

_Harder. Faster. Stronger. Longer. Dirtier. Scarier._

**Better.**

Then it starts to feel good. The pleasant warmth starts to spread from the edge of your hairline to the tips of your toes, crawling along every nerve in your body so that you feel it on every square inch of your skin. And you can't help yourself as your body reacts the way it's supposed to. You hate yourself completely and start believing him as he chants in your ear that "you want it" and "you asked for it because look at how you're reacting, you little **whore**!" And you feel

_Ashamed. Hurt. Humiliated. Defeated. Lost. Angry._

_Dead._

Your thoughts are racing but at the same time your mind is completely blank. You know this is occurring, but it's just a dream, it's a nightmare, it's a movie, it's a book, it's fake, it's real, it's happening, you're there and

_Alive. Naked. Alone. Together. Bruised. Battered. _

_Damaged._

Everywhere he touches leaves a trail of memories and despair, and your stomach rebels and you want to puke as his lips are crushed on yours, as his hands roam freely, as he enters and exits carelessly, as he touches and kisses and hits and bites and marks and threatens and leaves you

_Tainted. Shattered. Traumatized. Scared. Depressed. Broken._

_Raped._

But you can't fight back because you're hurt and in shock and in pain but most importantly, he's holding the most precious thing to you hostage. He whispers in your ear in a way that would be tender if he wasn't threatening to do the exact same thing he was doing now to the only person that brought you true comfort and happiness in the world. You can't struggle or say a word of this to anyone "because your beloved _Albarn_ will be hurt if a word escapes from your sluttish mouth." And he laughs at your pain and the cruel sound rings in your ears like a never ending echo and that - along with everything else - is etched into your memory. When he's done and you're done, the heartless bastard keeps going and you're

_Tugging. Pulling. Breaking. Tearing. Marking. Dying._

_Wishing_

_it_

_would_

_all_

_just_

"STOP!"

x.X.x

Maka woke up to the sound of puking.

Confused, she jolted out of bed and dashed to the restroom, where the sound was coming from.

Any thoughts of sleep flew out of Maka's mind as she saw Soul hunched over the toilet bowl, throwing up the contents of his stomach. She snapped to side just as he started heaving thin air. With a grimace he flushed and stood up, heading to the sink in order to wash his teeth.

Her mind finally caught up with the current events, still feeling a little bit slow because of waking up so abruptly. She pursed her lips, ready to question him as soon as he finished washing his teeth. She KNEW something had happened while he was out. Even his soul felt distraught.

"Sorry I woke you," Soul apologized once he finished, wiping the excess water on his sleeve. His back was facing her and his head was still bowed.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she put a hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to look at her. "Soul-"

"Don't touch me."

Her eyes widened, hearing the normally sarcastic and cool voice so full of fear and anxiety.

He turned slowly, vision still glued to the floor. He expected her startled gasp and the way her hands flailed uselessly, wanting to inspect the bruise on his face but also wanting to respect his wish to not be touched. Her hands finally settled on covering her mouth. He must've really looked like shit for her to be so stunned.

"What happened to you!?"

He clenched his hands into fists. "It's nothing." _I'll take this as a punishment as many times as I have to as long as it means HE won't do the same thing to YOU._

"Who did this to you?" she demanded, taking a step forward. "Was it while playing basketball? Was it Black Star? Kid?"

Ruby eyes rolled towards the ceiling. As if they could hurt him like this. "No."

"Then what happened?" She took another step forward. You see, their bathroom really isn't that big to begin with, so at this point Maka was really close to him, which was making him very uncomfortable, especially considering… what happened just a few hours ago.

"Talk to me, Soul. Don't you trust me?"

_Where did that come from?_"Y-yes."

"Then tell me what happened."

"Don't worry about it, Maka. It doesn't concern you." _And I'll make sure it never does._

"Did someone hurt you?"

"…"

"That's the reason you came home late, right?"

God, how can she be so close to figuring it out already? He felt himself begin to panic. If HE found out that Maka found out, then HE would go after her. Feeling fear rise up in his throat, he said the first thing that came to mind, which probably only made Maka more suspicious. "I'm going to bed."

Soul scrambled out of the small bathroom, mentally kicking himself for acting so out of character. Maka, being the determined girl she was, followed him, not willing to let the subject go just yet. "I bet that also links to the reason why you were throwing up just now."

Why does she have to be so keen on the details? Although, he supposed it wasn't very hard to put these pieces together. "Just drop it, will ya?" he proclaimed just as he reached his room.

"No!"

"Why?!" he shouted back, whirling around to face her.

"Because you're hurt!"

_More than you can imagine._ "They're just a few bruises."

"Are you kidding? That bruise on your face looks like someone punched you!"

_That__ would be because someone did. _"…"

"And I bet you're hiding more bruises under that long-sleeved shirt! Soul, just tell me what happened," she pleaded, her voice falling quiet as she grew more desperate to find out what had happened exactly to her partner.

The silver-haired weapon swallowed thickly and looked away, not being able to look at her as he blatantly lied to her face. "…I fell."

Not giving her a chance to get angry at his stupid excuse, Soul retreated into his room, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Soul!" he heard from the other side. "This conversation is not over!"

Shaking his head, he answered, "Good night!"

"Ugh!" There's a moment of silence where Soul doesn't move, listening to the soft breathing he can barely hear on the other side of his bedroom door. Then she speaks, her voice gentle and calmer than before. "Soul, if you're feeling ill, we can skip school tomorrow."

The idea of spending free time in their apartment, alone with his thoughts, made him nauseous.

"Nah, I'm fine."

"…If you say so."

He raised his eyebrows at this, expecting her to be pushier about his response, like earlier. He listened to her retreating footsteps before he allowed his body to go limp and slide to the floor.

"Fuck," he muttered to himself (he seemed to be overusing that word lately, but circumstances called for it). He wasn't acting like himself and he was making Maka suspicious. If he kept up the skittish act and freaking out when she touched him, it would take no time at all for her to jump to conclusions… which would be sadly correct.

He dispelled those thoughts from mind and crawled into bed for a second time that night. His clock showed it was currently 2:30 in the morning, and he groaned because he knew it was going to be a very long night with no sleep. He dug around his drawers for his iPod and jammed the ear buds into his ears, putting the music at the loudest setting.

He concentrated on only that, the music and its beat thrumming through his ears into his brain. He sat in the corner of his bed, his back resting against the wall, and hugged his knees to his chest. Tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the music blasting through his mind, he pretended that the blanket he was now using to cover himself entirely really did protect him from the evils of the world.


	3. Starlight

"_Black Holes and revelations…"_

-Starlight by Muse

Chapter 3

At 5:30 in the morning, Soul deemed it late enough to stop pretending to be asleep. Were up to him, he'd just stroll around the apartment like if it were day time, but he didn't want to risk waking Maka and having her question him all over again.

For the past three hours, he had been listening to music, doodling on random notebooks, and completely getting lost in his thoughts (which definitely weren't pleasant, but he couldn't help his mind drifting, especially since he was so tired but refused to go to sleep in fear of nightmares).

He got up lazily, partially due to his exhaustion and partially due to his injuries. His entire body ached, but his backside hurt the most (for a reason, sadly. He grimaced.) He dressed quickly and was ready within fifteen minutes.

He toyed with the idea of going to school ahead of Maka (trying to delay the second round of questions he knew Maka was going to ask), but he quickly dismissed it, not wanting to risk another possible encounter with HIM. That thought scared him more than anything, as much as he didn't want to admit it. He just couldn't stomach the thought of being completely alone right now.

Instead, Soul decided he would finish the homework he hadn't had a chance to do the night before. He would've done it earlier, but he didn't want to leave the confines of his room and his books were in the kitchen.

He grabbed them and sat at the table, flipping the pages and trying to get his eyes to focus on the words. He could read them perfectly well, but he had trouble actually understanding what they meant.

He read one sentence over and over, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to grasp the meaning of it. He knew what sound each letter made and that letters stringed together formed words, which formed sentences, but for some reason his mind wouldn't concentrate.

Maybe it was the white noise at the back of his head, luring him into the depths of his mind. It promised safety and security and a break from reality, but it was all a lie because IT would follow him everywhere. His breath quickened with just the thought and his hand gripped the edge of the table.

He didn't look up from the book, but he felt his muscles lock and his blood run cold as he saw the shadows moving out of the corner of his eye. They crawled and pulsed slowly across the floor, gathering at his feet. Soul was frozen. All he could hear now was the loud thumping of his heart in his throat. His ragged breathing completely stopped as little black hands shot out of the shadows below him, twining themselves around his legs and pulling at his clothes. Little rips were heard as the sharp fingers clawed at his clothes, going higher and higher, above his thighs and under his shirt, up his chest, down his arms, around his neck.

Not once did Soul move. His eyes were trained on his textbook as he felt the hands roam his body, tearing away his clothes harshly. They explored every inch of his skin, touching and violating and-

Another firmer hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped. The little black hands quickly scattered, retreating back to where they belonged.

Soul breathing was short and quick, his heart beating faster than a humming bird's wings. His mouth had gone dry and a light sheen of sweat had formed on his forehead. He slowly realized that someone was standing behind him, and he turned warily, afraid of whom it might be.

His vision was horribly blurred and he didn't know why. He could make out lips moving on the person's face, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. His ears were stuffed with cotton or clogged with water or smothered with cloth or were just gone. He didn't know. He couldn't understand.

Suddenly he couldn't see the person anymore and he could feel something wrapped around him. He panicked, feeling so lost and oblivious and vulnerable. He struggled but his movements felt sluggish and did nothing to throw the other person off.

And just as abruptly as they had disappeared, all of his senses returned to him with a shock. His body was trembling terribly; her body shook along with his. His heart still drummed against his chest, and he wondered if she could feel it as well. He blinked and his vision was clear again. He could feel two distinct trails of water falling down his cheek and was confused as he realized that he was crying.

He could finally hear (his ears had come back, apparently) Maka's coos of "it's alright" and "it'll be fine" as she wrapped her arms around him. He stopped struggling against her and simply sat there rigidly as his partner tried to soothe him.

This was all wrong. Maka shouldn't be trying to protect him. She didn't know what she was getting herself into. And he shouldn't be crying. What was there to cry about? He was simply doing his job in keeping her safe. According to HIM, he deserved to be…

He finally shook her off, not being able to withstand the close proximity any longer. She backed away, still frowning concernedly. He didn't look at her, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He sniffed and remained quiet, not really knowing what to say next.

"Soul…" she begged silently.

Soul slumped further into his seat. He paused, considering his next words carefully. "Sorry. I was just reliving some bad memories."

It wasn't a complete lie.

Maka knew that Soul disliked talking about his past and his family, and knew better than to ask about it. But it didn't stop her from wondering why it bothered him so greatly now when it didn't seem to matter to him before.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maka asked hesitantly.

"No." Soul responded quickly. "No. I'll be fine. It'll be fine. Perfectly fine. Nothing happened."

He wasn't sure if he was assuring Maka or himself.

His meister sighed deeply but said no more as she went to the cupboard and opened it, surveying its contents.

He took the opportunity of having her back turned to him to survey his own clothes. They were all perfectly intact- no rips, no tears, no markings. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, he slouched over the kitchen table, resting his elbow against the wooden surface as he massaged the bridge of his nose. Maka watched him silently, eating her cereal thoughtfully.

She wanted to know so badly what had happened to him. He looked so out of whack, like if he was in his own world. He gave her a heart attack and a half when she walked into the kitchen to find him breathing heavily and crying. She knew that something was seriously wrong with him. After all, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together: coming home late with bruises, waking up puking, having an emotional break down…

But she couldn't even begin to fathom what on earth had caused these things. She only wanted to help, but she also didn't want to annoy him or scare him away by insisting or asking too much.

He looked like he hadn't slept a wink last night, and that lovely bruise on his face didn't make him look any better. His shoulders drooped more than usual, as if he were carrying a horrible burden on his back. He looked so stressed, it made Maka's heart ache.

Maybe she should give him a break and stop bringing the subject up, if it was really making him suffer so much. After all, there had to be a legitimate reason on why he was so keen on hiding this from her. Unless he was just being stubborn…which was most usually the case.

But, she sighed to herself, she also had to put some trust in him and his judgment. If he thought that he was better off keeping this to himself, maybe he was right. Maybe he just got in a silly fight and was too ashamed to come clean to Maka. Maybe he really was clumsy and stupid enough to fall and hurt himself that bad.

But that didn't explain the crying, or the getting sick part for that matter…

She decided she would drop it for now, but if this behavior kept up, she was going to find out what happened yesterday night no matter what.

As of now, Maka thought that Soul was stressed out enough as it was and decided to try to take his mind off of what ever it was that bothering him.

"So, Soul," she began, finishing the remnants of her breakfast. "How's the homework coming?"

Soul grunted, only now realizing that he had been staring at his textbook blankly this whole time. He still felt disoriented and wasn't able to concentrate on the text, but Maka's voice seemed to snap him back to reality rather quickly.

Her simple presence seemed to do a lot to his state of mind. Whether it was because they had a technician/weapon partnership or because he simply enjoyed her company, his defenses seemed a little less on edge when she was there. Just a little.

He debated with telling her the truth, just spilling his whole heart out because it was too much hurt. He thought of how much easier it would be to just tell her what really happened last night. He could tell she was genuinely worried for him and really wanted to find out what had occurred. If he told her—

He cut his thoughts off, shocked that he would even consider putting his partner in that position.

Guilt flooded his system, which only made him feel that much worse. The load on his back became heavier and he drooped just a little further into his seat. He shook his head slowly. This was fine. He would keep his secret to himself, no one would know (except HIM), and everyone would be on their merry way, as if nothing happened.

He had been thinking for a while and had forgotten to respond, so when Maka spoke up again, he jumped a bit. "Do you need help?"

"No."

"…"

"…"

"Sure?"

"…Yeah."

What a productive conversation.

Maka stood up, the scraping of the chair against the floor being the loudest sound in the room. She placed her plates in the sink, planning to wash them later. She turned and smiled brightly at Soul. "Ready to go?"

He nodded mutely, feeling too worn out to voice a reply. Standing up, he slowly followed her out the door.

They walked to school in silence, Maka wondering how she could get Soul to open up and Soul trying his best to forget about…everything. He didn't even want to think about how he was going to manage at school.

The walk over there couldn't have felt any longer. The tension was thick between them. Soul glanced over his shoulder every few seconds, and he jumped at any loud noises or sudden movements he caught out of the corner of his eyes. It was starting to irk Maka how easily Soul was being startled today, but she forced herself to remain calm, not wanting to upset him further.

Soul glared warily at any stranger that passed them by. He kept his guard up and was on the look-out for HIM. He searched for the cold blue eyes that pierced his mind behind rectangular glasses. He looked for the slick, black hair that was slowly graying with age. He watched out for that angular nose that had nuzzled his neck while whispering, "_I'll be watching you._"

He hadn't realized he had stopped walking until Maka beckoned him to hurry up or else they'd be late to school.

They finally arrive and Soul feels a strange sense of dread coil around his insides at seeing the large crowd of students. HE could be hiding anywhere here. He could be watching, taunting him, planning his next attack. Planning on attacking Maka—

_Calm down. _He took a deep breath. _Freaking out right now won't help any._

He had the childish urge to hold Maka's hand as they entered the school.

They went straight to their homeroom, for which Soul was grateful for for the first time in his life. Usually, he would want to loiter outside and talk with a few of the other guys. But now the thought barely even flashed through his head. He knew that it would make Maka more suspicious, but he didn't care right now. He just wanted to get rid of this feeling of paranoia that was making his heart pound against his flesh.

He languidly walked to his seat, plopping down on it and then immediately regretting it as fiery pain slid up his bottom. He tensed and squeezed his eyes shut, willing for it to pass.

After a few miserable moments, it did and he lowered his head tiredly into his arms and blinked the moisture away from his eyes. He yawned widely, but shook his head, determined to stay awake. Of all places, he knew he couldn't fall asleep here. He would wake up screaming and make a huge unwanted spectacle. But he couldn't help it; he was exhausted.

He concentrated on Maka's calm presence next to him, reminding himself that he was not alone and there was no way that He would show up here.

The moment of calm soon ended as a boisterous voice was heard from the hallway. "Why are we in such a hurry? If I'm here early, I can't make a grand entrance! I won't have an awesome stage with people watching me!"

There was a pause, and then, "Of course being the center of attention is important! Who would NOT want to pay attention to the great Black Star!?" There was another bout of silence where Soul assumed Tsubaki was saying something quietly in return. Again, Black Star loudly proclaimed, "What!? Soul's fine! He's a big boy! He can take care of himself!"

He sat up at that, staring at Maka quizzically.

"I called them last night when you wouldn't show up," she explained, not looking up from her book. Soul sighed and nodded, wondering if they would start questioning him too. Well, Black Star didn't seem all that worried, but Tsubaki apparently was.

The ninja burst into the classroom, the door banging loudly as it hit the wall. Even though Soul should've been expecting it, he still startled slightly at the sudden sound.

The blue-haired meister posed, Tsubaki standing next to him loyally. He surveyed the room and then grinned, spotting Maka and Soul in their seats. "See!" He pointed. "I told you they were perfectly fine!"

The raven-haired girl sighed, smiling weakly at Maka and Soul. "There's no stopping you, is there?"

"HA! HA! HA! What an absurd question!" He clambered up the steps and took a seat next to Soul, getting uncomfortably close to him. "Whoa, dude! Your face!"

Sitting next to Maka, Tsubaki chastised, "Black Star! Don't be rude!"

"What did you do to make Maka so angry?"

"I did not do that to him!"

"Then who did?"

"I don't know," Maka replied, a tad of annoyance evident in her voice. "Soul?"

All eyes were on him now, and he felt himself get smaller in his seat from the unwanted attention. Class hadn't even started and his day was already going so perfectly. Wonderful. (In case you didn't catch that, that was sarcasm.)

"Well—"

"Who ever it was," Black Star interrupted loudly, much to Soul's relief. "you must've really pissed them off to leave such an ugly bruise."

"Yeah," the scythe-weapon said awkwardly. "You could say that."

He stared at his hands as Black Star blabbered on about something or other. Maka and Tsubaki were engaged in their own conversation, but he didn't really care to listen to either of them. As long as they left him alone, he would be fine. He had to be. There was no other choice.

"Dude, are you even listening to me?"

He shied away from the hand waving in front of his face, finally looking away from his lap. "Yeah," he lied.

"What was the last thing I said?" Black Star crossed his crossed his arms across his chest.

"Uh, how awesome you are…?"

His friend sighed, patting his shoulder. Soul tensed. "I know that think so, but no that's not what I said. Man, did that punch knock out a few of your brain cells?"

Soul forced himself to smile weakly, not being able to find much humor in the ninja today. Black Star frowned. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted-" Soul decided he wouldn't even mention that he hadn't said anything; Black Star had interrupted himself. "-I wanted to know if you wanted to come play basket ball with me and Kid again today after school."

_It was only a few minutes after he left the basketball courts that Soul noticed the presence of a terribly familiar man. He remembered that piercing stare, the casual but rigid stance, the enraged snarl. Of all the people from his childhood, he never expected to bump into HIM again._

_Especially under these circumstances._

"No," Soul refused immediately.

"Eh?" Black Star was startled at his forceful reply. He furrowed his eyebrows, sensing something wrong. Yes, he might be thick-headed and dense sometimes, but something was definitely off and it was alarmingly obvious, even to him. Now he understood why Tsubaki was worried. "What do you mean? Wasn't it an awesome time yesterday? Of course, I know the only reason why it was so great was because I was there, but what can I say? I RULE! HAHAHA!"

The weapon nodded slowly. "Yeah, but I still can't go."

"How come?"

"It doesn't matter, alright? I'm just not going."

"Dude, what's with all the secrecy?"

"Why does it matter?" Soul snarled, feeling unreasonable anger rise within him.

"Chill out," Black Star cautioned warily, sensing the changing atmosphere between them.

"You're not the boss of me. Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?" He heard the words and heard the absolute rage that was laced in them. It was only until he noticed that all of his friends were staring at him with an astonished gaze that he realized those words had come out of his own mouth.

Soul Eater does not get angry like that. Soul Eater does not lose his cool.

Something was definitely wrong.

Maka stood up, her hands balled into fists. "What is wrong with you, Soul!? You've been acting so differently ever since you came back last night! Why are you doing this?!"

"Why is everyone so focused on that?! Does it matter?! Why can't you just drop it!?"

He stood up as well, glared into Maka's green eyes. Anger made his blood boil, made his body shake, made his sharp teeth grind, made his fingernails dig into his skin, drawing little drops of blood. Even though he knew he wasn't mad at his friends, they were whom he took it out on.

He could feel his self-control slipping, falling right out of his grasp. He was loosing too much, too fast- losing control of himself, of his life, of his decisions. There was nothing he could do to stop it. He wasn't in charge of his body anymore, and he hated it.

"Hey!" Black Star jumped up behind him, placing a warning hand on his shoulder. He shook it off. "Don't explode at her like that! We can tell there's something wrong. We're all just worried for you!"

"Well, don't be." He glared at his ninja friend defiantly, wishing it would all just stop.

His heart skipped a beat at the horribly familiar words.

"Everyone, please, calm down." Tsubaki tried to control the situation. "Getting angry won't solve anything."

"I'm out of here," he muttered before stalking off.

Mixed cries of "Soul!" and "Dude, hey!" crashed into his ears as he pushed past Kid and Liz, whom were just arriving. He ignored Liz's warning of "Watch it!" and Kid's bemused stare. The only person he responded to was Patti, who cried out, "Where are you going, Soul-kun?"

"Leaving," was all he spat before exiting the school itself.

The warning bell rang, giving everyone five minutes to get to class. Soul ignored it, ignored all the people passing him and pressed forward, not really knowing what direction he was going exactly.

He followed his feet as they stomped on the pavement. He thought of his friend's reactions, of his anger, of his guilt, and that bastard who caused all of this.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!" Soul cursed angrily. He didn't know what to do with so much raw emotion. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling. These mixed flurries of thoughts and memories were making him confused. It was all too much. He wasn't in control.

He needed control.

But that bastard took it.

"FUCK!"

He was running blindly now. Literally. He ran with his eyes squeezed shut, relying on his other senses to know what was occurring around him.

It was a calm day it seemed, and where ever he was, there weren't many people around.

He was alone.

Fear struck him suddenly, and he tripped and fell harshly onto the soft ground. He groaned, digging his fingers into the earth. He wondered when the concrete had turned to grass and when he had been surrounded by so many trees. How did he not run into them? He was shocked.

He looked around, realizing he had no idea where he was. It was a forest, obviously, but he didn't know how he had gotten into it in the first place, and now he didn't know how to get out. Just how long had he been running?

"Great," he moaned. "Just what I needed."

He sat up with a sigh, brushing off the dirt as best as he could. He crawled underneath a tree, leaning his back against it. He wondered what he should do. Should he walk in one direction until he found an exit? That sounded tiring, and he was already exhausted as it was.

He pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them closely with his arms. He rested his head against them, his eyes tugging closed. Maybe he could take a quick nap. He was isolated and if he woke up screaming, no one would hear him. Just a short wink wouldn't hurt anyone…

He closed his eyes and his body relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. He sighed happily and drifted off into his dream world.

x.X.x

When he came to his senses, Soul realized he wasn't completely alone anymore

x.X.x

_1/28 /10- Phew! I hope that makes up for last chapter's fail-ness. :)  
This chapter was originally much longer than this, but I figured I had written more than enough for one chapter (almost 10 pages and 4000 words!!) so I decided to stop there and put the rest in the next chapter. n_n; _

_Soul's assailant will be revealed in the next update… But as I'm sure you noticed, I did give a __tiny little__ hint of how they are both related (yanno, besides the raep. xP)_

_**Important: **__Alright, guys. I have to two things planned out perfectly-- a chapter that is going to happen in the near future and the ending (Yes, I already know how it's going to end :O ) All I need are the chapters that are gonna happen from now to then, so if you'd like to see something in particular, now would be the time to tell me. Please know that I'm only taking suggestions. Just because you tell me something, doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen. Thanks for reading this! : )_

_I'd like to thank_ **misa325, Kashii Ai, ambrie-chan, TheMemoryBeyond, Princess Falling Star, WolfofTime, Rachel07, memorylane19, so X ma is awesome, **_and_** Whinnie** _for reviewing, alerting, and/or faveing! It's greatly appreciated! 8D  
(FYI, 8 reviews for chapter two! Kid would be ecstatic.) _

_BTW, that little part at the beginning where Soul feels as if the shadows are out to get him-- scary as hell. __O_O_


	4. Scars

2/8/10- Soul has a potty mouth in this chapter, but I'm sure we can all forgive him, given the circumstances.

_"…I'm feeling down and I just wanna be alone. I'm pissed 'cause you came around. Why don't you just go home_?"  
Scars by Papa Roach.

Chapter 4

_When he came to his senses, Soul realized he wasn't completely alone anymore_.

Frightened, he jumped away as the other person lunged at him, knocking him over flat on the ground. A hand was pressed against his mouth, muffling his scream (not that anyone would have heard it anyway; he suddenly wasn't very grateful for that). Legs tangled with his and knees straddled him, pinning down most of his body. "Soul Eater Evans," Marvin growled hungrily. "Did you miss me?"

With his free arms, he tried to push away the older male as he forced himself on him, lowering his head to lick the side of Soul's face. He grimaced and released himself from the massive hand on his face, a snarl already planted on his lips.

"Fucking shit!" Soul spat, the anger from before still not completely gone. "I did NOT fucking miss you! I wish you would die a slow, painful death, writhing in agony while begging for mercy! You know what, I think I will make that wish come true right now!"

A bright light wrapped around his arm, but before it could fully transform into a blade, Marvin leaned over, pressing his elbows against Soul's arms painfully. "Ah, ah, ah," the older man chastised. "Remember what I told you all those years ago?"

Soul froze and his eyes widened as he did indeed remember. He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory because it wasn't true; the bastard was only trying to brain wash him. Yet, he couldn't rid himself of those thoughts. They were engraved into his mind.

Marvin's smile grew sickly sweet as he watched the youth look around nervously, probably looking for a chance of escape.

How cute.

Soul twisted this way and that, ignoring the painful jabs on his arms and trying to throw Marvin off (he almost puked when he realized that his movement only seemed to be turning him on…) His anger was gone now, replaced by pure fear. Scenes of last night kept flashing through his mind, and he was not eager to find out if there was going to be a replay of it now.

He thought of his friends and wished he hadn't stormed off like that. He wondered if they were looking for him, if they wondered where he ran off to, or if they didn't particularly care, if they were still angry at him for freaking out on them like that. Just the thought brought the sting of tears to his eyes.

"I love to watch you squirm." Soul froze, almost defiantly if only he hadn't done so because just hearing Marvin's voice made his blood run cold. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel as the penetrating stare watched him calculatingly. He could feel the former servant's hot breath linger close to his face, and Soul wrinkled his nose.

"Open your eyes," Marvin commanded. He did but quickly looked away, concentrating his vision on a nearby tree. "Look at me. Hey, listen to me when I talk to you. Evans, _look at me_." A warning was laced between the words, a promise of pain. "Good. You're a good boy."

_I'm not a fucking dog!_

Almost as if talking to a baby, Marvin said, "Now, I'm going to kiss you and you won't bite me like you did yesterday."

His eyes snapped shut and he couldn't suppress a small whimper as he felt moist lips on his. He felt so ashamed for listening to what the old bastard was saying, but he couldn't help it. He foolishly thought that if he followed his directions, he would spare Soul, at least for now.

Marvin pulled away, smiling as though he had accomplished something great (which in his own eyes, he did; he had certain control over the boy). "See? Now that wasn't so hard. If you had listened to me this way yesterday, it would've gone by so much quicker."

Soul's heart rammed against his rib cage. His mouth went dry. His finger twitched.

He felt horribly and wonderfully numb.

"We both win in the end. We both get something out of it." A finger ran down the side of his face, trailing down his neck, down his shoulder. "I'm giving you a wonderful gift: _pleasure_."

He swallowed.

"Just give into it, Evans." The hand went up his shirt now, feeling his skin, his scar, then his nipple. "Either way you're going to get it."

Marvin's other hand ran down his body, but still Soul did not struggle. He lay there motionlessly, expressionlessly, lifelessly, numbing himself for a reenactment, as the older man's hand snaked downward, to the hem of his pants, and even lower.

He gasped.

"_You deserve it, after all_."

Soul snapped.

"_Shut up_."

His hands flew to Marvin's wrists, preventing any movement. His nostrils flared, but Soul ignored it, glaring into the icy blue eyes that haunted his every thought. "I didn't do _shit_ to fucking _deserve_ this."

"YOU INSOLENT BRAT!" Marvin jerked away from Soul's grip and slapped him harshly, the resounding crack echoing around them. Soul clenched his teeth. "DON'T SAY YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS! YOU DESERVE THIS AND MUCH WORSE! YOU _OWE_ ME!"

"NO! You're the one who should rot in HELL!"

"Have you forgotten what you did to me!? Where you sent me!?" Marvin punched the younger in the stomach with brute force. Sweet breath escaped Soul's lips and his eyes popped out. He coughed, trying to regain it. "**JAIL**!" _Slap_! "**That's** where you sent me!"

Ruby eyes watered as he sputtered for breath, but Soul still managed to choke out, "You got what _you_ deserved." _Wheeze. "_You committed a crime! You should've been ready to pay for the cons—!"

Hands slapped over his mouth again, cutting him off and choking him slightly. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

Soul had gone too far. This man was definitely not the same Marvin that had worked as a servant at the Evans' mansion during his childhood. _This_ Marvin was (_fucking insane_) mentally unstable and Soul had pushed him over the line (Although, the one back then wasn't completely sane to begin with). His eyes shined with deliriousness, and the silver-haired teen was sure that if he could shoot lasers from his eyes, he'd be dead. Although, right now, even that seemed like quite a possibility right now. His breathing shook with intent to kill, and his hands pressed down just a tad harder against his mouth and nose.

His mind abruptly went into fight or flight mode. His senses sharpened as he realized he was on verge of being asphyxiated to death. He bit down on his attacker's hand harshly, drawing blood with his jagged teeth. Marvin jerked away, yelling in pain.

Soul took the opportunity and threw him off balance, crawling out from underneath him, clambering to stand up, and running as fast as he could.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE _SLUT_!"

He didn't stop, only pumped his legs harder.

Soul didn't hear any echoing footsteps behind his, but that didn't slow his running. Escaping hard and fast, he saw an opening to the endless rows of trees. He dashed through it, not even taking a pause as he pounded on concrete.

He was disoriented as he ran in a random direction, anxious to get back to the apartment where he could lock himself in his room and wait for Maka. Through the flurry of thoughts and sounds in his head, he tried to get a hold of his surroundings, successfully turning in the right directions as he finally recognized where he was a little better.

In his haste to escape, Soul failed to hear as Marvin whispered, "You'll regret that, _Evans_."

x.X.x

By the time Soul reached his apartment, his legs felt like dead weight, dragging on the floor as all energy left him. He had never understood the saying "My legs feel like lead" until that moment.

He leaned against the door wearily, still not opening it as he strained to catch his breath. Earlier's events replayed in his mind, and he closed his eyes, thanking whatever god was out there that nothing happened and he had managed to escape.

He thought too soon.

With a jingle of keys, he opened the apartment, throwing the ring of keys to a little table on the side as he walked in and closed the door behind him. He was about to head to his room when his ears caught the crinkle of paper, and he looked down.

He had stepped on an envelope. On the front with blue ink, his name was written with a hasty scrawl. Frowning, he tore it open, wondering from who it could be.

He wished he hadn't read it.

He tore the paper to shreds, the little pieces falling like flakes to the ground. Cursing, he rampaged around the whole apartment, making sure windows were closed, drawing curtains shut, and making sure everything was locked.

How had the bastard gotten here before him!?

He didn't understand. Soul had run back home like the devil was on his heels, so how was it possible that Marvin had come and gone before Soul got back? Though, Marvin was an adult and quite possibly had a car, so that gave him the advantage of transportation.

Shaken, Soul jogged to his room, opening his closet and entering, promptly going in and sitting, closing the door. Here it was dark so there were no shadows that would be out to get him; there were no windows to be looking out for; and only one door which he could keep an eye on.

He wasn't sure what excuse he'd give Maka if she came home to find him like this. He shrugged and decided to cross that bridge when he got to it.

Right now, he had other things to rage about- like Marvin's letter.

_Evans,_

_You did not have permission to leave my presence. The consequences must pay, am I right, after all?_

(He wasn't sure what this sentence was supposed to mean. It didn't make much sense. All he knew was that Marvin was trying to make a reference to their earlier "conversation".)

_Meet me here.  
(_An address was written on the page. Soul had a vague idea of where it was, he realized with a groan of disappointment.)

_If you don't, __your precious Albarn will be visit paid.  
_(The guy was a fucking psycho with no knowledge of grammar. How come it seemed like he could talk normally but not write correctly? But he got the threat nonetheless.)

_You deserve it. You owe me._

_I'll be waiting._

The letter wasn't signed, obviously, but he knew exactly who it was from.

That fucking bastard knew how to play his cards- insane or not. Now he wasn't the one going after Soul; he was making Soul go after him.

"_I know you want it, Evans. I know you do, you whore. From the very beginning! Look at you—"_

He shook his head, blotting out the memory. He didn't want to; not at all. But if he didn't, Maka…

He had to protect her at all costs.

He tugged at his hair with uncertainty, wondering what he should do. He didn't know what to do in this sort of situation. He could always _not_ go, but what if the sick fuck held true to his word and paid their apartment a visit? He obviously knew where Soul lived, if he was able to drop off that letter.

He hugged his knees to his chest, unconsciously rocking back and forth. Soul had become a puppet, and his strings were being controlled by that sick, twisted freak. He hated it. He wanted out. There was a simple answer to all of this.

But Soul was terrified.

He stopped rocking. It suddenly dawned on him that he had been in there for a long ass time. Just how long, though? Before he could dwell on that thought however, the door opened, light flooded in, and Soul jumped up in terror.

_He came back he found me he wants more he found maka no one's home the phone is in the kitchen I can't stop him it's a punishment I deserve it but I don't want it but I need to protect maka and _oh god _he's going to do it again…_

The thoughts zoomed through his head so quickly he could barely process each one. With ragged breaths, he looked at the person whom had opened the door to his temporary sanctuary.

**x.X.x**

**2/8/10- **Hey, sorry I took so long to update. I don't want to give excuses but my computer crashed while I was writing this chapter, and it didn't save. I had to start from scratch.

But aside from that, I went out of town for a couple of days, and while I was gone, someone in my family passed away. Today was the funeral, and I've been moping around the house all day. I don't like being sad for real reasons (as strange as that sounds) so that's why I finally got around to writing this, even though I'm not really in the mood to write.

**Sorry if Marvin** was a disappointing revelation. I had to make someone up because I honestly don't think any existing character in Soul Eater would do that…  
I'm considering on writing a whole chapter on Marvin's and Soul's relationship in the past; yanno, how they know each other, that whole thing about Soul sending that sick freak to jail… But I'm not sure.

Anyway, I'd still like to thank **unlucky lucky 13**, **HeadlessLucy**,** ElveNDestiny**,** Kedern**, **gryffinclaw08**, **Princess Falling Star**,** OttPop, Cicilicious**, **Whinnie**,** Karien**,** Defender-of-the-Moon**, **ambrie-chan**,** MattsMarshMello**,and** Beans-chan **for reviewing, alerting, and/or faving!  
(Ten reviews last chapter! I get excited when I get one or two- imagine ten!)

I'll try to update as soon as I can. Stay tuned~


	5. Tongue Tied

"_I'm tongue tied, waiting, hoping, and praying. I'm so tired; we are drifting too far. Eyes closed tightly, thinking there might be some way… But this feels like the end. So near, yet so far; Alone, together. What went wrong? I need to know. I can feel you letting go. Though there is so much to say, I'm tongue-tied_."

-Tongue Tied by Aqualung

Chapter five

The thoughts zoomed through his head so quickly he could barely process each one. His arm almost morphed into a blade, but a voice he recognized and that instantly calmed him spoke up before he could do anything else.

"Soul, why are you in the closet? I looked through the whole apartment for you and I find you in here?"

The weapon was so relieved, he didn't respond for almost a full minute. He stared at Maka disbelievingly, almost convinced that this was a dream.

_He'_s not here.

_Yet._

He shook his head, concentrating on the fact that he wasn't alone right now. Laughter bubbled up in his throat for absolutely no reason, and he found himself smothering a grin. He was so overjoyed, he wanted to pull her close and wrap his arms around her, thanking her for just being alive.

Then he remembered why he was in his closet, why he was in such a panic, why he had run back to the apartment, why he was in the forest, and why he had ditched school in the first place.

His happy mood shattered.

A shower of depression flooded Soul's system as he gazed at Maka sadly.

She frowned at him quizzically, watching the range of fear and happiness and immense sadness display on his expression. "Soul…?"

He startled and shook his head, looking away as he pushed past her. "Don't worry about it…" she barely heard him mumble.

Her cheeks puffed up in agitation, and she stomped after him, pissed that he thought she would be brushed off so easily. "What, are you a magician now, Soul? What's with the disappearing acts?"

"Leave me alone." He walked to the kitchen, and Maka followed. She watched him with furrowed eyebrows as he opened and closed the refrigerator door. He pulled out a chair at the table only to push back in before he paced around the kitchen restlessly.

Maka wasn't even sure what to say anymore.

With a deep breath, she asked the question that had been on her mind all day. "What happened today, in class?"

Her only response was the soft padding of his shoes as they traipsed across the kitchen floor. She gave a little huff at being so blatantly ignored, but she didn't give up.

"Why were all the curtains drawn?" she tried asking, remembering how dark it seemed when she got home.

No reply.

_What, am I talking to the wall_? She frowned, watching her partner carefully. There was something cautious about the way he moved. His shoulders were more tense than they usually were. All day long he had been on edge, looking over his shoulder every few minutes. Anything seemed to be able to tip his mood, and he was obviously hiding something.

Maka Albarn liked to read books. She had also read books on psychology. She wasn't dumb. She saw the signs.

But that couldn't be it. It was impossible. Unthinkable! There obviously was another, simpler explanation; once she knew what it was, she would slap herself silly for even thinking such possibilities.

A few beats passed and she just couldn't take it anymore.

"Soul? Soul- stop moving. You're giving me a headache."

He finally settled for leaning against the wall, his fingers drumming against his crossed arms. He stared at the floor intensely, and she could almost see as the wheels turned in his mind, thinking and contemplating about whatever thought was going through his head at the moment.

"Look," Maka sighed tiredly. "Just please tell me where you were. After you ran off, we left school to look for you but we couldn't find you. You weren't here or in your usual places; we searched everywhere. After a while I decided to come back to see if you were here and I just found the place like… this. Then I found you in the closet."

He froze completely. She didn't take this as a good sign.

He didn't say anything, but he was eyeing the door next to her rather suspiciously. Before he could make a break for it, Maka stood in front of it, back straight and lips jutted out determinedly.

Soul sighed and slouched, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry, Maka. I can't. I just can't tell you."

Her heartbeat quickened, his refusal to admit anything adding to the suspicion of what she already knew but wished wasn't true.

Her resolve to drill him wavered as thoughts came back into her head. She knew deep down exactly what happened. But that was ridiculous. This was SOUL she was thinking about! That couldn't happen to Soul. It had to be something else. Anything! Anything else. It didn't matter, as long as it wasn't that.

She ran through a list of possibilities, picking one that seemed right.

"Is there…" she hesitated, feeling a little silly for asking. "Is there a girl?"

Soul looked at Maka like she had grown another head. She became nervous, her mind automatically jumping to all the different scenarios in which Soul would have a girlfriend. She'd rather Soul be taken than…

" 'Cause if there really is another girl, there really is no need to go sneaking around. I mean, there's no problem with you having a girlfriend. As long as it doesn't interfere with your work, you should go for it. I mean—"

"No," Soul interrupted, a little surprised that that's what she had come up with. "No. There is no other _girl_."

Just the way he said it made her think on a whole new level with a lot of new possibilities. "Oh. _Oh_. That would make sense now." Maka smiled awkwardly, wanting to believe even _this_ with her whole heart if it meant that this was it and nothing else. "Soul, there's nothing wrong with having a boyfriend either. It doesn't bother me at all. You don't have to hide it. I'm all for homosexuality—"

"No!" Soul squawked indignantly. "Maka, I'm not _gay_! There's no other guy either!" But sadly, there was. Only not in the way Maka was thinking. It was a horrible, despicable man that Soul could not – would not – tell her about. Ever.

"But the way you said 'girl'—"

"I'm not gay."

"Are you sure? I'd have no problem with it—"

"Positive!"

She felt an odd sense of disappointment. _However_, she tried to cheer herself up, _just because he wasn't in a secret relationship with someone didn't mean _that_ happened_.

"…Alright," she conceded sadly.

"I'm serious!" he exclaimed, thinking that she had responded that way because she didn't believe him.

"Okay, okay, I believe you! I got it!"

"Good."

"Fine then."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Soul, why is there a leaf in your hair?"

_Frightened, he jumped away as the other person lunged at him, knocking him over flat on the ground._

He licked his cracked lips, slowly running his fingers through his hair to find that damn leaf. "That's a good question."

"Aren't you going to answer it?"

"No." He took the leaf out of his hair, carelessly letting it fall to the ground. "I'm going to take a shower now."

"Soul! We're not done here. Answer my questions!" She stood her guard, blocking his exit.

Taking a few steps closer to her, he scoffed angrily. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?"

"Your technician," she replied without missing a beat. "I'm your partner. I'm Maka Albarn. I'm your friend."

Soul didn't know how to reply. "I have control over my own life." _Right?_

"Please. Let me help you." _Always._

"There's nothing for you to help me in." _I'm sorry; I can't._

Maka sighed in disappointment.

She decided to drop the topic for now, not wanting to know the truth and yet wanting to get it all out in the open. A little uncomfortably, she asked, "Want some dinner?"

"Dinner?" Was it that late already? How long had he locked himself in the closet? He'd have to be leaving soon to go to that bastard's house. How was he going to get around Maka's guard?

"Yes, Soul, dinner. You know, that meal that we have every night." She hoped that joking around would lighten up the tense mood.

He rolled his eyes, muttering, "I'm not really hungry."

Maka looked at him strangely, walking over to the fridge. "But… you're always hungry. And you didn't have any breakfast this morning, and I'll bet anything that you didn't have any lunch either. You haven't eaten all day! Now that I think about it, you didn't have dinner last night either." She crossed her arms and tapped her fingers impatiently against her limb. Rather bluntly, she asked, "Why are you starving yourself?"

Soul hadn't even realized that he had skipped so many meals. Just the thought of food made his stomach roll.

"I'm not starving myself. I just don't have an appetite right now. I'm gonna go take a shower."

With a sad frown, Maka watched him leave.

The weapon ignored the feeling of her eyes on his back and instead went to his room to get ready to leave. It would be pointless to shower now if he was just going to go feel disgusting again in a few minutes.

He sighed as he pulled on his shoes. He had torn the paper where the address was written down, but he still had a vague idea of where it was. Quietly, he left his room and then the apartment itself.

Maka set down their plates on the table, then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Soul, dinner—"

It was too silent in there.

Frowning, she opened the door to find it empty.

"Soul, you didn't…"

She quickly goes to his room, simply to find the lights turned off. Her room: same result.

Maka clenches her teeth and grinds her teeth, her eyes shining with defeat. "You little bastard… why are you doing this?"

x.X.x

Soul stood in front of a rotting door. He stared at the peeling paint, and had been doing so for almost eight minutes. The place was only illuminated by the dim light of a bleeding, grinning moon.

He was there, in one of the rattier parts of Death City, standing in front of a nightmare. He couldn't leave, couldn't look back, but couldn't knock, couldn't open the door. He was rooted to the spot.

But then the door swung open on its own, and a demon stood behind it, grinning madly.

Soul gulped, his hands shaking slightly at his side.

"You made the right choice in coming here, Evans."

Marvin stepped back, making room for Soul to step in.

And as he did, Soul never thought the sound of lock clicking behind him had ever terrified him so much.

x.X.x

2/26/10- _Hey guys. Sorry I took so long to update. I haven't been in my usual high-spirits, but I think I'm getting better. I finally got around to writing this, after all._

_Though I seriously hate this chapter. Anyway, up next is (probably) Soul and Marvin's history._

_I'd like to thank _**SecretSnow, NakoChen, ambrie-chan, Beans-chan, Soul For Anime, PrincessFallingStar, Immortal Roze, Primitiveradiogoddess, Morgan-chan, CrimsonLaurana, Tsuki-kitsune007, Pyro the Phoenix, SoulxMaka1, NinaPenguin, and Ottpop **_for reviewing, alerting, and/or faving._

(_I'm sorry if I misspelled your name. I'm kind of in a hurry right now.)_

_**I'd also like to give a special thanks to those who offered a listening ear (or in this case, a reading eye) when you knew about my loss. It really means a lot to me.**_

_Stay tuned~_


	6. Counting Bodies Like Sheep

"_Safe from pain and truth and choice and all the poison devils. They don't give a fuck about you like I do. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason. One in the same I must isolate you – isolate and save you from yourself_."  
-Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums by A Perfect Circle

Chapter Six

_Nine Years Ago_

Soul stomped into the piano room which was crisp and clean, just like the rest of the house. He kicked the floor with his shoe, blemishing the otherwise perfectly white surface. Taking his hands out of his pockets, a six year-old Soul pouted, kneeling down to clean the scuff mark left behind. If his mother saw, she would get more upset with him and he'd have to wait longer to get his snack.

Finishing, he stood up with a childish sigh and then went to sit on the piano bench. He ran his chubby fingers along the smooth keys, not actually pressing any notes but marveling at the contrast of black and white. No shades of gray, just hard and cold colors.

"Hey there, pal."

Soul, remaining surprisingly calm at the unexpected sound, half-turned and inspected the owner of an unfamiliar voice.

A man leaned against the door frame casually. He wore the same uniforms the other servants in the house wore. His hair was slick black, and his eyes a light blue. There was something about the way that the non-rimmed glasses seemed to magnify his eyes that Soul didn't like. Looking into them felt like they were invading his thoughts. His nose was long and kind of wide; it reminded him of a witch's nose that he had seen in a book, minus the ugly warts.

"Are you the new servant?" he asked a little shyly, turning his whole body to face the new-comer.

"Why, yes- I am. How'd you know?"

Proudly, Soul explained how he came to his conclusion. "Mother was screaming at one of the servants yesterday. When that happens, that servant leaves and a new one comes."

"Oh!" the stranger acknowledged dramatically. "You're such a smart little guy." He took a few steps further into the room. "Tell me, why is such a brilliant boy all alone in this room?"

At those words, Soul looked downfallen, being reminded of the earlier fiasco. "I wanted some cookies but Mother wouldn't let me have any until after dinner. I tried to sneak some out but Mother catched and said I wouldn't be able to have any 'til tomorrow."

He snickered slightly at the boy's grammatical error. "Oh, what a shame." A few steps more. "You know, if you really want me to, I can sneak some out and give them to you."

The crestfallen child perked up immediately after hearing the words. "Really?"

"Sure! But…" A sly look slithered across the elder's face. "You have to keep it a secret. Just between you and me. Are you good at keeping secrets?"

The white-haired boy nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah!"

"That's fantastic."

Soul stopped smiling.

Something about the way the servant grinned just now made Soul want to run.

Far.

Away.

"Is something wrong?"

Soul tried to reconstruct his expression to something more polite. His mother _did_ always tell him that he needed to learn how to control his expression, or 'keep his cool' as Wes would try to explain to him. "No," he answered in a tiny voice.

"That's good. I wouldn't want my new pal to be scared. Are you scared, Soul?"

"No…"

"And we're friends, right?"

"Friends?" The servant nodded. "But I don't know your name."

"It's Marvin."

"Oh. Ok. Then we're friends, Marvin."

_Oh, the innocence of a child._

"I'm glad." With just another step, Marvin was standing in front of the youngster. It was only then that Soul noticed that Marvin had left a trail of mud behind him. Soul frowned.

"Mother will be upset with you, Marvin," he deadpanned.

The servant guarded his expression. "Why is that?"

"You got mud all over the floors!"

"Hm. It looks like I did." He turned to stare at the boy, and Soul found himself frozen, not being able to look away, and the fear from earlier returned. And then in a whisper, Marvin said, "I tainted its innocence."

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go play a game, shall we?"

"But the mud—"

"Just forget about it."

"But Mother—"

"She doesn't have to find out. Remember? Our little secret."

Hesitantly, Soul nodded and left the room with his new friend.

x.X.x

"Hey, pal, I've got something for you."

Seven year-old Soul looked up from the homework he had been doing and went cross-eyed for a moment as a giant, colorful lollipop was shoved in his face. "Cool!" he exclaimed, ripping the sweet from the elder's hands.

Marvin chuckled at the child's happiness. He watched as he quickly unwrapped the lollipop and started sucking on it. "Do you like it?"

Soul nodded delightedly. His mother rarely allowed him to have sweets nowadays. She said he was starting to grow up and he needed to start acting maturely, and apparently that involved not eating any more candy.

The bright side was that Marvin would often sneak in a surprise for him and give it to him for being such a great pal and for being so good at keeping secrets.

Soul glanced at Marvin and tried to ignore the way that he seemed to be watching his every move. He had mostly gotten used to it, but sometimes the way that the icy blue eyes slithered over him made him feel uncomfortable, like he was on display at the zoo.

He snapped out of his thoughts as Marvin placed a hand on his shoulder gently and left it there. Marvin was smiling softly while looking down at him, and it made him feel very small. Soul stopped nibbling on his snack and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, glancing at the hand on his shoulder.

"What?" he finally broke the silence.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just glad my pal is happy."

He smiled bashfully and looked back down at the homework his tutor had left for him. He sucked on his lollipop, and for a while, his smacking and slurping were the only sounds in the room. The hand on his shoulder tightened a few times, enough to make him squirm uneasily. He was relieved when the heavy hand went away after patting his head, and Soul returned working on his assignment.

Marvin smiled a smile that held many secrets and left the room.

x.X.x

Soul had very exciting news.

"Marvin! Guess what?!"

"Hm? What is it?"

"I can turn into a weapon!"

Marvin scoffed. "Sure you can."

"Really! Watch." There was a bright, white light and Soul's arm disappeared. In its place was a smooth, red and black blade.

Soul looked up to see Marvin's expression, proudly grinning as he exclaimed, "See!? I told you so!"

"Oh, how neat-o! But you know, now you have to extra careful."

Soul cocked his head curiously, transforming his arm back to its normal shape. "What do you mean?"

"Well, who knows- you might accidentally use the blade and end up hurting someone." Marvin looked at him squarely and with a dead-serious voice said, "If you kill someone with that blade – even for self-defense – you're going to hell."

x.X.x

A whole year passed and their little encounters continued. Marvin continued bringing surprises for Soul, and Soul kept accepting them while promising to keep all his secrets.

One day when the servant was busy working, Soul wandered into Wes's room. His older brother was looking over some music sheets disinterestedly when he walked in.

Wes turned to look at Soul curiously, but otherwise ignored his presence. He went back to his music sheets. The eight year-old simply dropped himself on the bed, waiting to be acknowledged.

"What do you want?" Wes finally snapped, picking up a pencil and writing something on the paper.

"Nothing."

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't got nothing else to do. Marvin is working."

" 'I don't _have anything_' ," fourteen year-old Wes corrected, finally turning to look at his younger brother. He leaned against the back of his chair with his arm. Cautiously, he stated, "You're getting awfully attached to that guy."

"He's nice."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Why, because he cleans your room for you?"

"No!" Soul protested immediately.

"Then?"

He looked at the ground and pouted pitifully. "I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"It's a secret."

"Soul…" He knew that tone of voice.

"Fine! He gives me candies! You happy?"

Wes raised a dubious eyebrow. "That's it? That's your big secret?"

"What else did you want?" the younger asked, crossing his arms.

He ignored him. "I have a bad feeling about him. You should stay away from him."

"Why?!" Soul whined. "He's my friend."

"Your _friend_? He's an old man!"

"_You're_ an old man!"

"Just 'cause you're a pipsqueak doesn't make me an old man," Wes said coolly.

"Hey!"

The teenager shook his head, trying to get back on track. "Look, just be careful around him. If he does anything… weird, tell me _immediately_."

Soul didn't like the way Wes got serious all of a sudden. What was wrong with being friends with Marvin? He started feeling nervous all of a sudden. "What… what do you mean by 'weird'?"

"Just… y'know, things that make you feel uncomfortable or that hurt."

The word "uncomfortable" seemed to stand out in that sentence. He thought back to the times where Marvin would put his hand on his shoulder or on his head and just leave it there for a few moments. It didn't seem like anything serious, but it did bother him a bit, though he wasn't sure why exactly. Another thing that Soul didn't like was the way Marvin stared at him while he ate his sweets, specifically lollipops.

"He hasn't done anything like that… has he?" Soul hesitated but shook his head; Wes didn't look convinced somehow. "Well, alright, I'll believe you. But if he tries anything creepy…."

"But, Wes, why do you say that? Is he bad?"

"Well, no, not really. He just has a bad aura." The violinist wasn't sure how to explain how he felt to his younger brother. "I don't know, Soul. He's just not cool."

He nodded uncertainly, not really understanding what Wes was trying to get at.

Irritated and frustrated with the conversation, Wes said, "Now get outta here. I'm trying to compose a song and you're distracting me."

Soul stuck out his tongue and ran out of the room, earlier's anxiousness thrown out the window in a flash.

As he got to his room and looked over his own piano music sheets, he forgot all about his brother's warning about Marvin.

_He wished he hadn't._

x.X.x

Some time passed, and Soul continued to be friends with Marvin. He (_quite sadly_) grew used to the awkwardness of having Marvin stare at him while he sucked on a lollipop or of having him pat his arm and head and – though this was a little newer – having him run his fingers through his white hair.

He trained himself to ignore all of that, preferring to have a friend and someone to talk to when he was bored. It's not like anyone else would. They were too busy.

He had been looking for Marvin all day and hadn't been able to find him in the usual places. When he went outside though, he spotted the man sitting under the shade of a tree, hidden from view of the house. No wonder it had taken him so long to find him.

But something seemed wrong. The servant was sitting with his back against the tree's trunk, his legs splayed out before him, and his arms limp on his lap. He gazed emptily at the space in front of him with bloodshot eyes and messed up hair.

"M-marvin?" Soul called out cautiously. The older man gave no reaction to having heard him, but started speaking in chopped sentences.

"My girlfriend broke up with me. She found me out. She said I was disgusting. She was going to the police." His voice was dead. It made the hair's on the back Soul's neck stand on end.

"O-oh," Soul answered awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. But it didn't seem to matter. Marvin didn't look like he was even aware of Soul's presence.

"I warned her not to. I screamed at her. But did she listen? No. Of course not. I did what I had to do. I had to do it. Because I warned her. And she didn't listen." His fingers twitched and suddenly, Marvin's icy eyes darted to red ones and his next words chilled Soul to the bone.

"Have you ever felt someone else's blood on your hands?"

"N-no…" He was afraid to ask why.

A large smile spread across his face. "Soul, did you know you were beautiful?"

He backed up slowly.

"Hmmmmm, yes, so gorgeous. I wonder what it'd be like…." Out of no where, he started laughing, making Soul take another step backwards. His tone fell to a deadly whisper. "Are you scared, pal? I don't want you to be scared. You're my pal. Ah, well. Kyehehe…. Run, Soul; run like the devil is at your heels!"

So he did.

x.X.x

He didn't tell Wes about that scary conversation, even though it made him feel way worse than "uncomfortable".

Their meetings became a lot more dispersed after that. When ever they did see each other, neither ever brought up that day. It became an unspoken agreement to never mention it around each other or to any other people, for that matter.

Soul was wary around Marvin now, though the servant acted like he didn't notice. It was hard to be scared of him when he was being so friendly, just like when they had met.

He kept up his guard _and_ his silence.

_He should've told someone sooner._

x.X.x

One night, Soul jolted awake, blinking a nightmare away. He looked around the darkness of his bedroom fearfully, not exactly recalling what his nightmare was; only that it had really scared him.

He tried to close his eyes and go back to sleep again but scary images crawled back into his mind and tiny sounds made his heart leap. He remembered Wes telling him a while ago that if he woke up at night and couldn't go back to bed, he should drink a glass of warm milk and "stop waking him up at two in the goddamn morning!"

With a glance around his room to make sure that nothing was out to get him, Soul crawled out of bed and opened the door slowly, looking out into the dark hallway. He tiptoed across the passage and down the stairs, still looking for monsters warily.

_Back then, he didn't know that he had been looking for the wrong type of monsters. Instead of searching for big creatures with sharp claws and salivating mouths, he should've been on the look-out for monsters with black hair and icy blue eyes that were magnified by rimless glasses._

When he turned round a corner, he jumped back in fright, not expecting Marvin to be standing there with a wide grin on his face. His heart thundered in his chest, and he was mildly shocked that he hadn't screamed.

"Marvin? What are you doing here?"

The servant kept grinning, taking a step closer each time Soul took a step back. Eventually though he ran out of space and his back hit the wall. He felt like a cornered animal as Marvin kneeled in front of him. At least he had stopped grinning, his mouth now having melted into a simple smile.

A hand came up to caress his face, and his blood roared in his ears.

In a caring whisper, Marvin asked, "Are you my pal, Soul?"

After a long moment of silence, he nodded stiffly.

"Can you keep a secret, Soul?"

He was surprised to discover that his mouth had gone dry. Heat spread from his back through his body. He wasn't sure what this feeling was, but his senses sharpened and it felt like his heart went haywire, especially when Marvin's hand started snaking its way down.

"H-hey, wait… Mrs Rockbell – my tutor - said that that was a bathing suit area."

"What the _hell_ is a 'bathing suit area'?" Marvin's sudden aggressive tone scared Soul.

"W-well she said it was b-bad if anyone t-touched me there unless it was my mother or a d-doctor…."

Marvin gave him a sickly sweet smile. "Well she never has to find out, does she? It's our little secret."

Soul didn't know why he started shaking. He didn't know why he was scared. He just was. Marvin got closer to him and his bad breath fanned across his face, making him wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"This is what friends do."

After that, colors, scenes, and noises all blurred together.

"_What the hell are you doing to him, you sick bastard!?_"

"_Wes_--!"

_Rage. Intense anger magnified in blue irises. _

_Terror. Fear clouding innocent red eyes._

_Disgust. Distaste and anger in matching scarlet eyes._

"_Get away from him—!"_

"_Why are you here, you brat!?"_

_-- shoved aside—_

_--hit the floor harshly—_

"_Don't do that to my little brother!"_

"_Wes!"_

"_Soul—"_

_--too scared to get up—_

_-- fucking __**useless**__—_

"_You're going to pay for interrupting me! I was about to get him!"_

"_You're __**sick**__! Piece of sh--"_

_--wide eyes--_

_--watching from the ground—_

_--so __**weak**__._

"_Stop hitting Wes!"_

"_Soul! Get AWAY!"_

"But--"

"_Stay where you are!"_

"_Soul, run!"_

_They fall to the ground._

_Hands wrap around his neck._

_He claws at--_

_--struggling._

_--tears from the audience—_

_--(Why is Soul crying? Wes is the one getting hurt.)--_

_--why can't I do anything?_

_--Because you're __**pathetic**__._

_He chokes._

"_WES!"_

x.X.x

Soul's eyes snapped open, and the nightmarish vision disappeared. Instead of being back in his home, he found himself staring at a wall dumbly, part of his brain still stuck in the past.

With a jolt, he realizes that the bed he's in isn't his. His stomach revolts as he remembers where he is and what happened last night.

_Again_.

He gagged, sitting up in bed. The thin, smelly sheet falls to his lap, revealing his bare chest. There's nothing in his stomach to throw up and he heaves thin air at the edge of the bed. His eyes watered.

The door opens and in comes his worst nightmare, laughing at Soul's pathetic form.

He didn't have the energy to glare, instead collapsing on the bed once again. He felt sick and defeated, and quite frankly, he felt like bawling. He wanted Maka or Wes or anyone, really, that wasn't Marvin.

He wanted to end all of this.

"Hey, Evans," Marvin said, leaning against the door frame as he watched Soul be miserable. "You were great last night."

He could almost feel himself turning green. Crying his eyes out seemed like a real possibility now.

"You're a whore." Marvin chortled casually and left the room with a slam of the door.

Soul didn't get up from bed. He didn't want to face the day. He didn't want to face Marvin. He didn't want to face Maka.

_Maka_.

Fuck.

He had spent all night here. She was probably worried shitless. No doubt she was freaking out right now. How was he going to explain himself this time? Whatever he said, surely she wouldn't believe it. Why hadn't he said yes when she asked if he had a girlfriend? It would've made things so much simpler. He was such a dumbass.

He groaned. Why couldn't it all end? It was all piling up and he couldn't take it. He wanted out.

But why think the impossible?

First things first – he had to get out of this house.

He got up slowly, wincing and grinding his teeth at the pain. He slowly gathered all his clothes from the floor and got dressed. As much as he longed to stay in bed all day, he didn't want to stay in that particular bed.

He knew the only thing awaiting him when he got back to the apartment was Maka's wrath and probably several books to the head, but even that seemed better than staying here.

Really, any place was better than hell.

He bites back the sting of tears and bravely marches out the front door.

**x.X.x**

3/21/10- Hey, guys. I'm sorry I took almost a month to update. X_x It's a really long update though. 11 pages (12 if you count the author's notes :3 )

It's currently 5:07 in the morning, I still haven't gone to sleep (can't, for some reason. I should go get milk like Wes advised…) and I am exhausted. I wrote half of this just right now, so I'm very sorry if some things don't make sense or if there are any grammatical errors.

So anyway, I hope you enjoyed (sort of) Soul's past in this story…

**Please drop a review! I love hearing what you guys think. (L)**

I'd like to thank **ambrie-chan, Beans-chan, Redraiyn, Defender-of-the-Moon, memorylane19, Melawe, Primitiveragoddess, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Stellgar, Hinote Tora** for either reviewing, faving, and/or alerting.

Gosh, now it's 5:12 in the morning. Took me so long just to type that…

5:13 O_o

**Edit.3/22/10- **I just realized that Soul and Marvin meet the same way that Maka and Soul met: at the piano. O_O  
And I'm so very sorry for the rushed ending. It was late and I _really _wanted to post it.


	7. How Far We've Come

4/5/10- Prepare yourself for a lot of thinking this chapter.

"_I'm wakin' up at the start of the end of the world. But it's feeling just like every other morning before. Well, I believe it all is coming to an end. Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend. I started running but there's nowhere to run to. It's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone. Well it was cool, cool. It was just all cool. Now it's over for me and it's over for you."_

-How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty

Chapter Seven

(Maka chewed her nails.)

The apartment was too quiet, but she'd almost gotten used to it. The apartment had been this way for almost two weeks (though it felt way longer), ever since Soul had come back hurt.

Their home was no longer comfortable, easy-going. It was tense and the air was thick. Soul was a lot more sensitive now. Anything seemed to be able to tip off his mood. One moment he could act like nothing and one word from Maka would make him snap. They were more susceptible to arguments now, especially when Maka would bring up the topic of him getting hurt and that time where he spent all night out. Maka knew she should stop prodding if it bothered him so badly, but she was only worried.

Tsubaki and Black Star offered to intervene; Kid, Liz, and Patti offered their assistance once they heard what was going on as well. Maka was flooded with gratitude for her friends, feeling extremely relieved that she had such great people so willing to help at her side.

But in the end, she had to refuse. If Soul freaked out when Maka tried ask him about it, then who knows how he'd take the pressure of having the whole gang question him. Involving any more people would only scare him off, and she didn't want to do that.

Though, she was afraid she might already have.

Their relationship was tense, much like the atmosphere in their apartment. She didn't even know if their souls were still synchronized. They hadn't gone on any missions in a while. Honestly, though, she could worry about that later. Right now she really had to focus on getting Soul to open up to her.

Soul only wanted to be home now anyway, locked in his room. Liz and Patti invited him to go to the mall with them, Maka, and Tsubaki; Soul refused, which was understandable. But then came the times where Black Star and Kid asked if he wanted play basketball with them, and he looked _scared_. He always got this look in his eyes that shook her soul, and she wondered if maybe it was just her imagination, because no one could possibly be afraid of such a trivial thing.

But maybe _he was_ because he always refused to go, always throwing out some lame excuse like "he was too tired", "he wanted to be alone", or "it would be more symmetrical if just the two of you played".

They would all exchange glances with each other, various expressions displayed on their faces while Soul pretended not to notice. Before anyone could get another word out he would turn around and leave, and Maka felt like she had no choice but to follow.

At home, they had made a sad, sad routine.

She'd try to lure him to her, both physically and emotionally, while trying not to make it too obvious. She kept her distance physically, by now figuring out that he was more edgy when she was closer to him.

_--common psychological defense—_

_--hapnophobia—_

_--fear of being touched—_

(She shook her head, trying to erase those thoughts.)

He'd keep his rigid stance as she spoke and tried to sound nonchalant. It never took him very long to catch on and get angry at her all over again, but she was always got the feeling that every time they did that, he got closer to cracking.

And the closer she got, the more she wondered if she really wanted to know.

After that, one of three things usually happened.

A) Soul would lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.

B) Soul would take an extremely long shower.

--_obsession with cleanliness_—

(Her eyes squeezed shut.)

Or C) Soul would somehow slip out of the apartment without her even noticing and come back hours later.

With either one of those things, they'd end up arguing. Again.

She had a feeling that arguing so much was doing more damage than good, but he was just so frustrating! Why couldn't he trust her?

She longed to know what he was thinking. Very often he seemed to drift out of focus: at home, during lunch, in class (which was starting to affect his grades), even while walking; only to be snapped back to reality with a jerk by whatever thought struck his mind just then.

_--diminished alertness__—_

(She tapped a random rhythm with her foot, trying to distract her thoughts from that particular direction.)

Maka would frown worriedly with the corners of her lips tilting down and ask what was wrong. He would merely shake his head and look at the ground.

And that was as close as they had gotten to a civilized conversation in a while.

Everything else they had spoken to each other was in the flurries of anger and confusion and fear and hurt amidst shouts and questions. At one point, one of their fights grew so much in intensity that one of their neighbors actually came over to see what was going on.

She still remembered the neighbor's look of wariness and of irritation as she opened the door after three forceful knocks interrupted their screams. She remembered hearing the distant cries of a child in the room next door and the soft padding of someone walking around the room, making comforting shushing noises.

Maka apologized profusely and assured the man that they were fine. He grumbled something about "teenagers fighting like a married couple" and then left to his own apartment.

By the time she closed the door and turned around again, Soul had already retreated to his room.

Her own exasperation had sizzled down to nonexistence, suddenly feeling the guilt weigh her down heavily. She should have been in more control of her emotions. She just had to stop getting angry like that. Soul, for whatever reason, was obviously a lot more vulnerable to the swing of emotions right now.

--_unpredictable and intense feelings_—

(She took a deep breath. 'Don't think about it,' she commanded herself. 'That's not what happened.')

No matter how hard he tried to push her away, she wouldn't stop holding on.

But…

Soul kept withdrawing further and further into himself. She could practically feel him slipping from her grasp. She would _never_ give up on him, but it was getting more and more difficult to keep him close by the second.

Now, Maka found herself sitting on the couch, worrying her bottom lip, twiddling her thumbs nervously, and wondering what to do.

She felt like an utter mess.

"Your lip is bleeding…"

Maka broke out of her long train of thought, looking up at Soul who stood a few feet away from her. Something about his usual stance of hunched shoulders and hands in his pockets looked more defeated. He look extremely tired, like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep lately, and she wondered if he even was sleeping at all.

--_insomnia—_

_--recurring nightmares—_

_Don't think that._

She brought a hand up to her mouth and looked at it. Sure enough, she spotted a few specks of blood. "Oh…"

There was an awkward silence as she wiped the liquid off with the back of her hand. He avoided her stare, instead choosing to glance around the room nervously.

"Soul, is everything alright?" _I _know_ something's wrong._

"Yeah. I just wanted to see what you were up to." _I'm just a little lonely right now._

"Are you sure?" She hesitated, and then offered her open arms to him. _Let me help you._

Nodding in response to her vocal question, he shifted his weight from one leg to the other and looked away, subconsciously wrapping his arms around his stomach. _Not right now._

Insistently, she left her arms in the air. _Please._

He gazed at her for a while but then turned his eyes to the door. She got the message. With a sigh, she slowly let her arms drop. _Why do you keep running away from me?_

She didn't get an answer as he left her alone once again.

x.X.x

_Because I'm fucking scared,_

Soul thought as he closed the door to his room.

She would never hear that response, though.

He leaned against the wooden surface for a few moments, just focusing on the sounds Maka was making as she moved around the apartment. Finally, when he heard the front door open and shut, he slid down the door and onto the floor.

Maka was gone. He knew that she had gone to the library; she had been going there a lot lately, probably to avoid any more arguments with him. He wasn't really sure.

Now he had the apartment all to himself, but wasn't really sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. (It seemed like he wasn't very sure of _anything_ nowadays.)

Being alone made you be just that- lonely. It left him alone for his thoughts to wander through any dark passage they wanted to. Being lonesome left him with nothing else to distract himself with, to focus his mind on, though he did have a lot of trouble concentrating in the first place. Any noise seemed to scare him out of his wits, because if he was alone, it meant there weren't any witnesses and that bastard could probably do away with him.

On the other hand, being alone also meant that no one would ask him questions. He could stop stressing about when Maka would come to interrogate once again, at least for a little while.

Still, Maka's mere presence was a huge comfort when he suddenly got too caught up in a memory. She may not know what's going on, but her just being there helped him a ton. She helped him remember that, even though it felt like it, he wasn't alone and helped him remember the reason he was still living.

Who knows how long ago he would've completely snapped if he didn't have her.

As much as he bashed her and her physique (or lack thereof), he was still one hundred percent devoted to her as a weapon and as a friend.

He just hoped she knew that as well as he did, especially with all the fighting that had been happening between them lately.

Soul didn't want to lose her in any way, shape, or form. He never wanted to forget about her, the way he and Wes had kind of grown apart.

Soul thought back to all those years ago, when he still lived in his childhood home. As hard as it may be to believe, there was a time where he and his brother were very close. As a teenager, Wes was very protective of his younger brother, and only now did Soul realize how much he really looked up to him as a person and as a musician. A lot of his personality now was based on how Wes was back when _he_ was a teenager (but not all of it, because that wouldn't be cool). And, though he still didn't hear it himself, Soul had quite a talent in piano while Wes was incredible with the violin.

Soul drew back to _that_ night, when Marvin's true colors were revealed to everyone.

He remembered how Wes fought against Marvin while the eight year-old Soul watched in terror. He remembered being frozen to the floor as he watched the servant's hands wrap around his brother's neck. The choking and gagging sounds finally broke him out of his stupor and he had shouted his brother's name desperately.

Not long after that, the commotion roused some of the other servants, and they had come quickly. Two of the male servants held Marvin back as he writhed savagely, the intent to kill plain as day on his face. Some of the other servants tended to Wes and Soul, asking if they were alright, if anyone was seriously injured, and what in the world was going on there!?

Soul didn't know who called them, but eventually the police got there and took Marvin away.

He recalled his parents walking in, seeing Soul with a tear-stained face and a half-conscious Wes. He couldn't remember their reactions, but he could clearly imagine an apathetic stare as they watched the scene unfold before them, as if they were simply watching a movie and not their own children.

He remembered many police men and ambulances crowding the front yard. He vaguely remembered going to the hospital with Wes, staying there for a few days, and getting interviewed by police men.

He didn't remember much after that, his young mind not fully understanding everything that had taken place.

He knew they went to court where obviously Marvin went to jail; otherwise he doubted he'd be holding such a grudge.

Soul stopped his trip into his memories for a minute and frowned thoughtfully.

He knew what Marvin attempted back then was bad, he knew it was a crime, but it just had never really dawned on him how serious it was until now – now that Marvin had attempted and _succeeded_.

He suddenly felt sick.

It was these moments where he wanted to feel Maka's presence in the apartment, just to know he wasn't alone. This insecurity made him feel weak and girly, but he just didn't give a damn anymore.

He pulled his legs close to his chest, burrowing his face into his hands. He massaged the bridge of his nose, more to have something to do with hands than to actually serve a purpose. He let out a shaky sigh and tried to stop thinking about Marvin.

After that, things died down a bit, though Soul was never really able to face the hand-shaped bruises on Wes's neck. His older brother was still supportive of him, asking if he was alright, if he thought he needed to talk to someone, and just basically looking out for his welfare.

It was right after Wes was assured that Soul was alright that he completely submerged himself into music. Most of the time, Wes could be found composing music in his room. If he wasn't there, he was probably outside playing the music that he composed on his violin. It was like if Wes had become obsessed with the powerful sound of the bow drawing across the strings.

With so much practice, Wes became an amazing violinist.

And that's where their paths started to differ.

Though Soul was still a very talented young man on the piano, he thought his own playing was utter crap compared to Wes's music. Anyone with ears should be able to hear that.

Not very motivated, Soul didn't practice as much on the piano. He didn't think it was worth it. He could never be better than Wes.

His older brother grew into a mature man who didn't seem to mind the fancy parties their parents always hosted. He was practically made for the [jet-set life].

Soul, on the other hand, absolutely hated them; hated the fake-ness of it all, the love for superficial things, the snobby people that thought they were better than everyone else, and how they all seemed to fit their disdainful, cold-hearted stereotype.

He bolted from his fancy life as soon as Shibusen offered him a spot in their school as a weapon.

That was when he met Maka and established a bond that he could've never imagined. He slowly started allowing more people into his life after that, until he and Maka were just your average weapon/meister team fighting against pre-kishin and eating their souls to accomplish their goal of having Soul become a Death Scythe to fight alongside Shinigami-sama.

Okay, maybe not so average. But still.

Just thinking about something so normal made him feel better, made him feel real, as strange as that sounded. For so long, the only thing that haunted and circled his mind had been the incident. He hadn't even thought of becoming a Death Scythe in what felt like forever.

_Damn, how long have I been sitting here moping about my life?_

He blinked owlishly and got up slowly, stretching his bones and hearing them crack. Sitting on the floor in front of his door for long periods of time- not a bright idea.

He looked around him room blankly, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. He was done with thinking. He wanted a fucking break.

He collapsed on his bed after grabbing his iPod. He put on the earphones and closed his tired eyes, drowning himself in the beat.

x.X.x

Maka inched inside their apartment, finally back from her trip to the library, her heart beating faster the closer she got to reaching Soul. She had to do this. It was time.

She paused in front of his door and knocked.

"Soul, we need to talk."

_Here we go._

He stopped the music he had never really been listening to, getting up and turning his body to face Maka but still leaving his eyes glued to ground. "About what?"

Maka fought off the urge to wring her hands nervously, feeling her heart flutter in her chest. "Well, you know I've been going to the library a lot lately." She waited for his confirmation. At his hesitant nod, she continued, "Well, to be honest, I've been doing some research."

"And? What else is new?"

"Research about… you."

That definitely caught his attention.

She didn't dare stop talking now, afraid that she might lose the courage to finally confront him directly.

"Soul, I think I know what's wrong."

If she watched carefully, she could see how his walls were coming up and hardening around him, how they attempted to keep her out, to keep him protected but she didn't know from what. She could see his muscles tensing and the way his eyes darted around, looking for an exit.

"Soul, don't leave—"

Feeling cornered, the weapon panicked and shouted, "What, am I just some kind of research project to you?! Is that it!? Some kind of- some kind of- of experiment?! A lab rat!?"

"Soul! You know perfectly well that's not—"

"Then!?" He roared. Maka flinched. "Why do keep snooping into my life!?"

"I'm worried—"

"Well, stop! Can't you respect my privacy?!"

"Not if it puts you in danger!"

This was getting them nowhere. She didn't want to force him to tell her, didn't want to force him into anything, but this was for his own good. She had to do it.

She got rid of any feelings of anxiousness, replacing it with pent up anger that seemed to come out of nowhere. She took a deep breath, surprisingly feeling calmer than she ever had. In fact, she actually scared herself a little bit…

"Soul, take off your jacket."

His blood ran cold.

"_Take off your clothes, Evans. Do it, or else I will. In the end, we'll both—"_

"W-why?"

Maka forced herself to remain like the calm before the storm with a serious expression on her face, but she could've sworn she heard her heart crack a little at the sound of his scared voice.

"I need to check something."

"W-what? What is it?" He cursed himself for sounding so pathetic and scared. He was giving himself away. Damn it all to hell.

She didn't know how long she could keep this up. "Soul, you've been acting differently. And… I think I might know why."

"No," he denied quickly. "No you don't. You don't know. You don't…"

He couldn't suck in enough breath. His heart shook along with his hands. His mouth went dry suddenly. He knew that refusing the obvious the way he was doing now was only making things worse, but he couldn't help it.

Maka _knew_. She _**knew**_.

And if she hadn't confirmed her doubts about it, they were definitely confirmed now.

"Soul, please calm down. It'll be fine. We can get help."

"No. N-no…"

"It's fine, Soul! We'll get through this together. If you stop taking drugs now, we can do something about it!"

But Soul couldn't hear her anymore through the loud ringing in his ears. His hands reached out for something to steady himself with since it felt like his world started spinning. He felt like he was suffocating.

_I need out… I need out…_

He was only barely aware of Maka's presence as he stormed out of the apartment.

"SOUL!"

She stood there in frozen silence, staring at the door through which Soul had just ran out of.

_This can't be true. He's not on drugs. But, it just can't be…__If it's not drugs, it's… but…_

She didn't realize right away when she fell to her knees or when fat drops of tears started to pour down her face. She could barely support herself as her body started heaving with uncontrollable sobs.

She didn't want to think of the most important person in her life to be taking drugs, but if it wasn't drugs, it was the other thing, and both were equally horrible. The thought of it happening to anyone was bad enough, but to her Soul…

Her wails grew louder, and somewhere in the back of her head, she wondered if the nosy neighbors would call the police.

She couldn't bear the thought of Soul on drugs, much less Soul being…

_DON'T THINK THAT!_

She was mildly surprised when she found the phone next to her ear. She couldn't remember getting up and fetching it, much less dialing Tsubaki's phone number.

But she did, and the weapon answered her phone, growing alarmed when she heard Maka's cries.

Maka tried to calm herself, tried to choke out an explanation, but she didn't do a very good job. On the verge of having a panic attack, Tsubaki assured she would be right over.

The sandy-haired meister could not stop her crying. She had never felt such overwhelming sorrow and desperation, and she vaguely wondered if maybe some of it belonged to Soul.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but there was a knock at the door. She couldn't muster up the energy to get up and open it, but she was pretty sure Soul hadn't locked it on his way out.

Eventually, Tsubaki got the hint and opened the door, followed by Black Star, to Maka's surprise. For once, the ninja did not make a huge spectacle of himself, but actually looked genuinely concerned. Maka must've sounded and looked like a hysterical mess to cause Black Star to actually stop thinking about himself.

"Oh, Maka-chan!" Tsubaki was quick to envelop her friend in a hug, looking very pained at not being able to do much else. Black Star stood a little to the side, frowning as he looked around.

"Where's Soul?" he asked, knowing that if his weapon buddy were here, he wouldn't have left Maka to suffer through this alone.

"H-h-he left."

Tsubaki rubbed gentle circles on Maka's back, trying to soothe her. She clung to her like a lifeline, feeling like everything would shatter into (more) pieces if she ever let go. She needed the comfort, the security to fend off this feeling of weakness, but the one person that could ever truly bring her that was gone.

"Why?" Tsubaki asked in a gentle murmur, still keeping her friend close. "Can you tell us what happened, Maka-chan?"

But she couldn't.

She had shamefully cowered from the truth for so long, and the situation had spiraled so far out of control. By now they were both a bundle of nervous jitters, just tittering around the edge of the truth, neither Soul nor Maka willing to admit it.

All those facts that she remembered reading, all those symptoms, all the signs- they weren't the effects of drugs at all, and she knew that oh so terrifyingly well.

Three little letters that matched what Soul was experiencing and that flipped their whole lives around into a terrifying, never-ending nightmare:

RTS

_Rape Trauma Syndrome._

**x.X.x**

4/5/10- (11 pages – 12 including AN!! *dances*)

You know what's (not) funny? Several of you asked what happened to Wes last chapter, and I was like, "Well, duh, isn't it obvious?" Then I remembered that you guys couldn't read my mind.

._.

Er, sorry about that. Oh~ Cliffie. Sorry about that, too. Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! ^^

Oh gosh, I can't believe this is coming to an end already! If everything goes as planned, there will be a maximum of **four chapters left**. Maybe only three. _Whoa_!

I'd like to thank **Plutarch, heart-away, Primitiveradiogoddess,gryffinclaw08, TamaShi14, glorysmile, I Like To Stalk You **(I knew there was someone outside my window!), **ambrie-chan, yuukicross17, Llamas Are Sexy, Karien, Imouto-Chan13, NewBlackCat, Morgan-Chann, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, DearlyBeloved-13, LyxFall, Kasumy-Chan, TFRid Queen, soul-eater-evans-is-awesome, foreverboundtopain, **and** HappieApple **for either reviewing, faving, and/or alerting!

I seriously love all you guys! X'3

Stay tuned~

PS- I don't know if you noticed that I actually named this chapter! From now on, I'm going name the chapters after a song and then put a portion of the lyrics in the chapter. I'm also going to go back and put songs on the previous chapters ('Cause I'm such a loser and when I listen to a song I like relating the lyrics to stories X'3); so for those of you who alerted this story, I don't know if it sends out an email when you replace a chapter, but if it does, I'm sorry for spamming your inboxes ^^;


	8. Attack

**I'VE GOT SOME IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS ON THE BOTTOM AUTHOR'S NOTE SO PLEASE READ THEM WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH WITH THE CHAPTER. THANK YOU. ENJOY~**

"_But we had to sever. It ended for both of us faster than a –__  
KILL off this thinking; it's starting to sink in. I'm losing control now. Without you I can finally see. Run away…"_

-Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars

Chapter 8

His feet pounded against the ground, rattling his bones, his breaths, his nerves.

His thoughts were mush; he couldn't think properly. Alarms still rang in his head as her terrifying words bounced around, colliding with any rational thought that threatened to intervene with his panicked state of mind.

"_Soul, I think I know what's wrong."_

**Run faster.**

"_I know what's wrong."_

**Don't look back.**

"_I know_**.**"

**Nausea.**

Soul could feel heavy nausea building up and crawling up his throat. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the feeling, he stopped running and doubled-over, heaving up nothing but thin air. Understandable, since he hadn't eaten in god-knows-how-long.

He gasped for breath, supporting himself against the wet, brick wall, trying to get a hold of himself.

Wait, wet…?

He could finally feel cold pinpricks on his skin; smell the moist, humid scent that hung heavy in the air; see the puddles that had formed on the sidewalk reflecting his twisted image back at him.

When had it started raining?

So drowned in his thoughts of panic he was that he didn't notice the weather until now.

His clothes were drenched and his hair was drooping. He just stood there for a while, letting the rain crash down on him the angry, brute force of a weak, humiliated baby.

_Why does everyone get so emotional? Me… Maka… the sky…_

Shaking his head, he got rid of those weird thoughts. Now was no time to get emotional. He had to think of what to do, where to go now that Maka knew.

Maka knew.

He cussed under his breath, the feeling of panic beginning to swell up within him once again.

How many people knew already? Would Maka even tell anyone? Surely they would all think he was disgusting and weak. That's what he thought of himself, after all.

He just couldn't stand to think of the pity he would receive, of the whispered words that would go behind cupped hands and into listening ears he would have to withstand, of the utter humiliation of having everyone know that he was dirty and used.

_Do not _**cry**_, you pathetic—_

Damn it all. At least the tears blended with the rain.

He weakly pushed himself off the wall, walking in whatever direction he was facing first. He was so cold he couldn't even feel it anymore, so the rain didn't really bother him all that much. The streets were almost isolated, everyone being inside because of the foul weather. There were those random passersby that walked by him hurriedly with an umbrella, but he ignored them, simply staring at his shoes as he moved forward inch by inch.

He was so stupid. Where was he planning to go exactly? He didn't have any place to go besides back to their apartment, and he just could not face Maka. He couldn't go to school either because someone would get suspicious and ask what happened or she would look for him there.

IF she was even looking for him at all.

Damn, he really was a dumbass.

And to think that all this started one day after playing a game of basketball. He'd been too carefree. He hadn't put up his guard as soon as that bastard had made his presence known. It started when he just didn't react fast enough, due to the shock.

No, it must have been even before that. It began when the words "You're hired" came out of his mother's mouth and were directed to Marvin. That was when the seed was planted.

It began to grow once Soul actually met Marvin, that fateful day in the piano room, with his sulky pout and Marvin's muddy shoes and the promise of a dark secret. That was the stem as it began to spring from the dirt with evil intentions that were not known to him until some time later.

The thorns sprouted the night Soul could not sleep and went out of his room to get a glass of milk, the night that Wes was attacked by that psycho, the night Marvin attempted to take advantage of Soul.

Soul stabbed himself with those thorns the day Marvin succeeded.

If he was working his way up from the roots, when did the actual rose come? Was it possible that he actually got stuck on one of those pointy things? Is that why he couldn't climb any further and was forever stuck in this time of humiliation?

He laughed bitterly, his body feeling worn out immediately after the simple act. Now he was comparing his life to a rose. Such a fool he was. He was probably delirious from the gigantic swing of emotions he had been through in such a short time span. It was really exhausting.

It was only until his feet started to drag that he realized just how weary he was. Walking around on an empty stomach and a sleep-deprived body was never a good idea, but doing that while it was cold and raining was _probably_ even worse.

You know, just maybe.

But his mind suddenly didn't feel like joking as his legs tripped over each other, and he hit the ground with a wet _slap_.

"Ow…"

He lay there motionlessly, letting his eyes roam around his surroundings. He had no fucking clue where he was (Great. Just to make his day better, eh.), and the cloudy sky was darker than it was what seemed like minutes before. The lampposts were turned on (Night already? How long had he been walking?), illuminating the otherwise dark streets with a yellow glow.

Soul lay in the shadows just out of reach from the light, too weak to move, too weak to get up, _too weak to face his fears_.

Maybe if he stayed where he was, the rain would wash him away and he could finally get a break. He could say goodbye to thinking, to nightmares, to hurt and fear, to Marvin, and say hello to peace. He would say goodbye to school, to friends, to living, to Maka—

_Fuck__ no. I have to get up._

But he lacked the power to do so.

The rain now seemed to be mocking him instead of sympathizing with him like before, beating down on him when he was already on the ground. His wet clothes felt like they weighed a ton and it would be impossible to get up. He vaguely wondered what he looked like to an outsider. Maybe a lump of clothes in the street? A pathetic, cowardly little boy (that he really was)? Hm…

Just as he thought that closing his eyes might be a good idea, a sudden voice made his heart clench with panic.

"Hey, pal…"

His blood ran cold and his muscles locked at the hauntingly familiar phrase.

x.X.x

"Soul! Where are you!?"

"Soul-kun!"

"YO, SOUL! YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE! THE GREAT BLACK STAR SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING FOR YOU OUT HERE IN THE RAIN!"

Maka's glare went unnoticed by the self-proclaimed god, but she didn't care. She was too sick with worry for Soul to be really irritated at Black Star.

She hugged her jacket tighter around herself, feeling a chill run through her as she became more conscious of the droplets hitting her skin. Grinding her teeth, she pushed the thought back again and continued to call out for Soul, hearing Tsubaki and Black Star do the same somewhere near her.

She hadn't been able to tell them about what had really happened. She knew Soul wouldn't want them (or anyone, for that matter) to know just yet; and besides, she wanted to talk to him on her own and confront the real problem first, before she had to break the news to everyone else.

Even with limited information, Black Star and Tsubaki, sharing worried glances, agreed to help her look for him.

"Soul!"

She should've done this sooner She knew – had known for a while – but she was too stupid, too scared to do anything about it.

Now he was gone and there was no doubt he was scared, too. Who knew what kind of crazy thing he would go out and do? He was in a vulnerable state of mind. He could do something stupid like run away or hurt himself, or even worse – what if the attacker found him again?

The rain poured down harder now.

"SOUL!" she cried desperately, the shout making her already sore throat hurt more.

It disturbed her how the streets were so bare of humanity, though she wasn't sure why she was so surprised. It was getting pretty late and it was raining. The trio (_**she**_) was the only one _crazystupidscared_ enough to be out at a time like this looking for someone.

Her cry echoed faintly around her, but that was the only response she got. Even Tsubaki and Black Star had fallen quiet, sparing worried but helpless expressions for her.

Maka simply stood there with clenched fists, feeling like the smallest, most cowardly person in the world. She couldn't hear her own voice, but she hoped that somehow, somewhere, her words reached him.

"_Oh god, Soul, I'm so sorry_. _Where are you? Come back please_."

x.X.x

"_Hey, pal…"_

_His blood ran cold and his muscles locked at the hauntingly familiar phrase._

But this voice was obviously female, and that on its own was enough to make him relax (just a tad). He could sense her getting closer which would've normally bothered him since she was a complete stranger and he was in such a weird, vulnerable (and not to mention, uncool) position, but he was so damn tired he thought he might be able to fall asleep right then and there, whether there was a stranger or not.

"Hey, buddy, are you hurt?" She squatted next to him and placed her hand on his cheek—

Soul shot up like lightning, scurrying away from her with a boost of energy he didn't know he had at that moment. He stared at her with wide red eyes, kicking himself mentally for acting like such a weak, pathetic girl.

"Whoa," the girl said, brushing a few wet strands of her red hair away from her face. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw you lying there and I got worried."

_Am I really such a pathetic sight that a complete stranger feels the need to worry about me?_

_Well, duh, dude, look around you._

Without turning his head, his eyes roamed around, catching sight of his pitiable, soaked state, the rain, the streets…

…

_Oh._

Soul took a few breaths to slow his rapidly-beating heart and shook his head. He started saying, "I'm fine", but his voice came out garbled (probably from being outside for so long) so he cleared his throat and said it again.

"Don't look fine to me, lying in the middle of the sidewalk in the pouring rain."

"What's it to ya?"

"Ooh, roar. What crawled up your ass and died?"

"It's none of your business."

She remained crouching in her now-thoroughly-soaked jeans, apparently unperturbed by Soul's death glare.

"Look, I've got somewhere to be, so—"

"Liar."

"…Eh?" The sudden accusation (though true) caught him off guard.

"Well, you couldn't keep your glare slash eye-contact with me when you said that, and you also pulled your legs closer to you and scratched behind your ear. That's body language for lying. Besides that, you had such a lame excuse. You looked about ready to faint or fall asleep or something when I found you. Apparently where ever they are expecting you wasn't as urgent then."

He stared at her incredulously for a very uncool amount of time, his mouth opening and closing several times before he managed the bright response of, "Why do you even care? I don't know you."

She smiled sweetly, her green eyes bright with this weird joy. They reminded him of Maka's when ever she talked about something she enjoyed, like the latest book she was reading or the A plus she had gotten on her test. For some reason, it always bothered him how expressive eyes could be. You could tell so many things just by looking into them, yet at the same time, they were such a huge mystery.

The girl's whole face lit up as she said, "Strangers are my favorite people. It's like starting new."

A clean slate, eh…

He'd love for everything to be erased, starting from that day at the basketball courts…

"Say, what do you think of going some place dry to talk?"

He felt instantly wary, but where else was he supposed to go? He suddenly remembered why he was there in the first place and started feeling nervous all over again. Maka was probably freaking out right now, either feeling repulsed OF him or repulsed FOR him. Both really sucked; she didn't want him to think he was disgusting (even though he really was, among a few other things), but he didn't want her to feel sorry for him either. He just wanted to be normal again.

But he couldn't just run off with this girl either. This was a complete stranger; he knew nothing about her. Although…

'_It's like starting new.'_

Maybe if he could pretend just for a little bit, before things would never return to normalcy again…

After a long, contemplative silence, he nodded slowly.

"Yay!"

She didn't help him up, apparently getting the hint the first time she tried to touch him. They walked under the rain to who-the-hell-knows where. Soul walked just a few steps behind the red-head as she chattered incessantly about shinigami-knows-what. He wasn't really listening. He was just grateful to have something to reconnect him to the world. He felt he could think clearly now, even though the situation he was now beginning to understand did not make him feel any better.

She walked with a bounce in her steps, hands intertwined behind her as she talked, seeming to enjoy the sound of her own voice. She rarely paused for breath, saving Soul from having to reply to her. He would nod and add a couple of "yeah"s when it seemed appropriate, but otherwise wasn't much of a conversation buddy.

Though he really should've been paying closer attention to where they were going, he was surprised when they finally came to a stop in front of a bar he had never seen or heard of before. He wasn't sure what part of Death City they were in, but a strangely comforting numbness had settled inside him and he found that he didn't particularly care.

"Here we are!"

Soul nodded mutely, following the red-head as she skipped into the building. Maybe he should tell her he was underage. In the end, he kept his mouth shut and settled for just watching what happened next.

Inside was nothing grand. There was the inevitable bar, of course, with its stools and a couple of tables here or there. There was a small TV in the corner that showed the weather report (though it was fairly obvious by simply looking out the window). There were only a few people taking up the tables, and he found it strange that no one was sitting on the bar. It seemed business was going slow.

"Hey, Joe!" the bartender remarked upon their entrance and it took a while for Soul to realize that he was referring to his new red-headed companion. He hadn't noticed that they hadn't exchanged names yet.

"That _is_ your name today, right?" he asked right afterwards, receiving a chirp for a confirmation and a beaming smile (from "Joe", of course, not him.) Though his weird question made Soul wonder what he meant exactly. "Who's your new companion?"

"Oh! This is--" She blinked suddenly and turned to him. It seemed she had noticed that same thing he had. "What is your name?"

"S—" Wait. "—cott."

Joe turned happily back to the bartender. "This is my friend, Scott!"

"I see." He laughed merrily. "As long as you stay away from the alcohol, you're welcome here as long as you want, assuming you're hiding out here 'cause of the rain."

"Yup! Speaking of which, would you go get us some towels, pleeeaaaaseee, Allen? We're soaked!"

The bartender, Allen, apparently, sighed and got out from behind the counter, going through a door that led to some stairs that Soul had not noticed before. As soon as he was gone, Joe turned back to him and pressed her index finger against her lips, signaling him to "shhhhh!" as she went behind the counter and grabbed a bottle of who-knows-what.

He had a bad feeling about this.

She went around again and grabbed his wrist, much to his displeasure. He tried to yank himself from her grip but she just dragged him to the same place that Josh had just disappeared through.

They went up the stairs and passed Allen as he was coming down. Joe quickly swiped the towels from his hands, effectively hiding the bottle between the fluffy folds. "Thanks a ton, Josh! We'll be in my room!"

"Wha-? You left the bar unattend-- Hey! You better not do anything funny up there!"

Joe simply giggled and continued to drag an unwilling Soul up to her room apparently.

He was beginning to get nervous again and suddenly regretted agreeing to come with her.

The top floor of the bar was almost like an apartment building, he thought, except this one only had three rooms. Two, he assumed, were bedrooms and the third was probably a restroom.

They went into the first one on the left which turned out to be Joe's, judging by the various peace and love and rainbow posters that hung on her walls that seemed to match her personality (or at least, as far as he had seen). She shoved him in and then closed the door behind them, locking it.

He tensed, feeling his mouth go dry suddenly and his hands beginning to shake.

She didn't notice and jumped on her bed, letting the bottle drop along with her. She tossed a towel at him, which he barely managed to catch.

As she began to towel-dry her hair, she said, "So, Scott, what brought you to the dirty and apparently comfortable streets on a rainy day?"

Soul began patting his face dry, taking his time as he awkwardly stood beside the (_locked)_ door. "Don't wanna talk about it," was his simple, mumbled response.

She grinned and held up the bottle of alcohol. "Maybe this will change that~!"

He glared at her before deciding he was too tired to even stay standing and sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

"First things first!" Joe proclaimed, hopping off the bed. She started unbuttoning her jeans, and Soul panicked.

_Fuck_!

"Wh-what are you doing!?"

She paused after pulling the zipper down and looked at him as though he was the one that had randomly started to take off his clothes. "What does it look like? I'm changing."

_Are you stupid_!? "B-but I'm right here!"

"So? Just close your eyes or something." Without giving him much time to process her request, she pulled her pants down, allowing Soul to see an utterly revealing thong she was wearing.

Soul cursed and turned away immediately, feeling his heart beat speed up with fear. "I did not need to see that!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby."

"Don't you have any self-respect?!" He was afraid of moving, save he catch a glimpse of some unwanted image.

She didn't respond, but he heard the rustle of clothing as she continued to change.

"Done," she chirped.

Warily, he uncovered his eyes and saw she had changed into a pair of shorts and a tank-top. She sat on her bed again, this time grabbing the bottle of alcohol and opening it. She reached under her bed and took out two glasses to which Soul made a face to. What a bizarre girl. This was obviously not the first time she had done this.

She poured the liquid into both glasses and passed one to him. He examined it warily and took it, but didn't drink from it.

On the other hand, Joe finished hers almost instantly. As she tipped her head back, he noticed that she had a tattoo of a yin yang on her neck_. Bizarre, bizarre girl_.

"Aaahhh, that's the good stuff… Aren't you gonna drink yours?"

He just shook his head, not wanting to explain how he was afraid _that in reality, she actually was evil and she was just trying to get drunk to take advantage of him_. His own thoughts disgusted and disturbed him, but he couldn't help that sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Why not?" She pouted.

"…"

Another swig. "Hey, I brought you some where dry and I risked my butt getting you that drink." _I never asked for it. _"The least you could do is talk to me."

He looked away. Somehow, he could almost sense her rolling her eyes.

"Come on, little guy. Just relax. Be normal. Talk to me."

'_Be normal.'_

Trying to smother down his panic and nervousness, he shakily thought of something to converse about. For obvious reasons, it was rather difficult. They had only just met and yet, he already found himself in her room.

There were so many things wrong with this picture.

Still, he took a deep breath and tried to think of things that had stood out when he first arrived.

"Is the bartender your brother or somethin'? He looked a little young to be your dad or anything like that." Yet, she lived here and took his things. He suddenly thought to himself, what part of this was _normal_?

She smiled, glad that he had decided to speak. "Nah, we're not related. I just live here 'cause I've got no other place to go to and no family members to turn to. He lets me stay here free of rent 'cause sometimes I sing in the little stage downstairs and that attracts a lot of customers."

He hadn't really been looking for such a complicated or personal answer, but… "I see."

She poured herself another glass, but this time took her time drinking it. Soul still did not touch his.

"So, is your name really Joe…?" he decided to ask next, remembering how the bartender – Allen – had asked if that was her name for the day.

Flippantly, she responded, "Nope. I don't remember my real name. So I choose a new one every day."

"You don't remember…?"

He was itching to leave now. This girl was messed up. What kind of person didn't know their own name? Though, he probably wasn't one to speak about being messed up. He was pretty messed up, too. (How many times did he use "messed up" in that train of thought?)

Joe's smile slipped off her face suddenly, and she frowned at him, changing the subject carelessly. "Why aren't you drinking? I'm not gonna drink all of this by myself. Although I can. I just don't want to right now. Not when I have company.

"…"

"Oh, please. It's not that bad. You'll feel better, I promise. It's great to just forget about everything! Just, indulge yourself. It's such a stress reliever."

'_To just forget everything_…'

The prospect sounded like heaven now.

With shaky fingers, he picked up the glass and slowly brought it to his lips.

"There… Now, drink." She smiled again. "Good boy…"

He struggled not to choke and sputter at the burn and the taste. He did a poor job at hiding a sour face, but he kept drinking, so he could just forget, forget everything, forget and be normal, at least for a little bit…

Joe got off the bed and crouched next to him, refilling his glass. "Drink some more, Scott."

"Wha' is this?" He was surprised to find that his speech was already slurring. He had never had alcohol before and he was drinking it so, so fast. It was already affecting him _because he was so weak_.

"It's potent, I know, but it'll be worth it. Trust me. You want to forget, right?"

He took another gulp of the burning liquid but then turned large, red eyes to her green ones. "How do you--?"

"As soon as I mention anything about forgetting or starting over or being normal, you comply. Simple observation. Drink, Scott."

He did.

The glass was refilled several more times and the process was repeated, and each time, his mind was getting fuzzier and fuzzier. He felt like he was losing his balance even though he was sitting. The floor kept tilting from one side to another, but he didn't stop drinking, because he no longer remembered.

He laughed, but he wasn't sure why. It was just so funny. Ask him what was, but he wouldn't be able to answer. It just was.

There was a snapping sound in front of his face, but as he tried to focus on it, he went cross-eyed and he suddenly saw a lot of hands waving at him. He broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Talk to me, Scott, why were you on the streets?"

"Wh-why'z joo tryin' to gets me drunk?" He hiccupped and the simple movement made the whole world spin. Maybe she wasn't actually trying, but had already succeeded… He couldn't be sure, though, because he couldn't count how many fingers he had on his feet. No, wait, on his feet. That didn't sound right either…

There was a heavy sigh next to him. "I know your kind. You have to let it out somehow. Usually, this is the easiest way to get them to open up."

"Type…? Wha--?" He couldn't comprehend. Somehow, he didn't want to. He was too busy trying to remember the name of that red flower with the stem and the thorns and the leaves…

"Damn, I gave him too much. Scott, you gotta listen to me. Tell me about your day."

"How old you? You don'ts look old- you looks young, but you acting old now. So serious. Why so serious?" He burst into a fit of laughter again.

Joe sighed again, pursing her lips. "I don't know how old I am either. Allen thinks I'm around twenty-two or twenty-three, but we don't know for sure. Anyway, focus, Scott."

"M'names not Scott…"

"Yeah, I had a feeling."

"Isn't that's a song?"

"Close, but that's not important right now."

"I feels like singing." Suddenly, hands grabbed both sides of his face and forcefully turned him to face Joe. He panicked, not liking the feeling of déjà vu.

"_Tell me why you're running away_."

Her voice penetrated his drunken mind, and he remembered.

He remembered why he was there, what had happened, why his life had turned upside down after a simple game of basketball. He remembered the arguments with the one person he cared about, remembered how they both hurt, how _they both knew_, remembered what he had been trying so hard to forget, to run away from, to deny, and…

Soul started crying.

x.X.x

She felt something in her heart break.

It was abrupt, it was shocking, it was scary and painful, and—

It wasn't her emotions.

Maka sucked in a shaky breath and tried to feel around for his wavelength (for she already knew to whom these feelings belonged to). It seemed he was still too far though. She couldn't pinpoint exactly where he was; only that he was still in Death City.

But these intense feelings- had he been harboring them, locking them within him, hiding them from her all along? He had been feeling all these things by himself?

"Maka-chan, are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, Tsubaki, I'm fine. I just thought I sensed something."

"Oh, you mean tith that soul sensing thing-a-ma-jigger you have?"

"Yeah, Black Star, but…" Maka turned to look at the endless sky, the droplets sliding down her emotionless face. "It might've been my imagination."

_Soul… __You don't have to suffer alone. We can stop running, and get through this together._

x.X.x

_Except…_

He fled like the coward he was.

After minutes, hours, days (nah, not really- but it certainly felt like it) of sobbing, crying, dry heaving, and feeling like the pathetic person Marvin always told him he was, he left the place with the bizarre girl and the overly-happy bartender.

Joe had tried to stop him, but he struggled (_why couldn't I get away from him back then_?), and seeing no other choice, she let him go ('_cause I'm stupid and weak. I know that already_). Allen didn't even bat an eye as he stampeded out of the building. It was disturbing to think that maybe it wasn't even the first time it had happened.

Soul took many wrong turns, but eventually found his way back. At that point, he felt much more sober than before, and a heavy head-ache throbbed behind his eyes. What great timing to have his first hangover. It seemed like a lot of his firsts ended up being stolen with this experience…

_Just great, stupid, why would you think about that in a moment like this?_

He shook his head.

He was soaked to the bone all over again as he pulled his feet up one step to the next and to another until he reached their apartment. He was dripping all over the place, but that didn't really matter now. What he really needed to focus on was finding Maka, once and for all.

Taking the key out of his pocket (and feeling extremely relieved he even had it with him), he stuck it in the keyhole and swung the door open.

Just being back, just the prospect of being able to come out with the truth, took a heavy weight off is chest. He felt he could breathe easier and felt at peace. Soul had always read those phrases in books (the ones what Maka made him read), but he had never truly understood, never truly grasped how it felt until now.

Deciding it was time to stop running was a scary choice but necessary, he supposed. He was done with that. He was so sick and tired, and what was the point of escaping anymore? They both knew they knew. There were no more secrets, no more hiding, no more denial.

But…

It was scarily silent inside the apartment.

"Maka...?" His voice was hoarse as he called out hesitantly. He didn't receive a response. Where could she have gone? And at a time like this…

He shuffled in and locked the door behind him, surveying the place to see if there were any changes. None, beside its missing owners. Something heavy settled inside his stomach, making him want to rush out of the apartment all over again.

_Where's my phone…?_

There- that was a rational thought. He went to his room, the last place he remembered seeing his phone. Chewing on his bottom lip (which was never a good idea with his jagged teeth), he finally found it after rummaging through the covers of his bed.

He could just call Maka, tell her where he was, make her come back, and it would all end. They would talk (as much as he was dreading the part, _it was necessary_. It's what he had to keep telling himself), and it would all be okay.

But of course, things just couldn't end so easily.

Vaguely, he heard his phone clatter to the ground as a voice made itself known from behind him.

"I was wondering when you would get back, _Evans_."

Soul froze, felt his heart freeze, his muscles, his breathing, everything just froze and it was painful - it was scary, and HE was there; it was his voice, no doubt about it and Maka was gone- where did Maka go? Why was HE there?!

His voice was barely a whisper.

"_M-marvin_?"

x.X.x

**4/26/10**- I'mso sorry for taking so long to update. I've had writer's block for the longest time now, which I feel has made my writing style get really bad. This chapter is 14 pages and 5, 373 words, without counting the author's note, but I hope it wasn't a big disappointment. (I feel like it is. X_x)

**Important news: **You know how last chapter I said that if everything went as planned, there would only be 3-4 chapters left? Well, things didn't go as planned, and as far as I can see, the **next update will be the last one**. (Plus, maybe an epilogue. I'll probably write an epilogue. Yeah, almost definitely.)

**Oh and also****—**I have a basic idea of what will happen in the next chapter, and I do not expect it to be much longer than a couple of pages. Maybe 3-4. But things haven't been going as I planned lately, so maybe that'll change too. Who knows. ^^;

Anyway, _I'd sincerely like to thank_ **WolfofTime, Primitiveradiogoddess, TitaniumOctopus, sundanceromance, ambrie-chan, aMMaROXx, Emmy31894, soul-eater-evans-is-awesome, Morgan-Chann, LightningxStrife, so X ma is awesome, Atrum Phasmatis, heromaster3, DearlyBeloved-13, goongala-cowabanga, your fan, Scratcher-cat, MexiJew, Soaha, Hitoryan, Michi-Chan-Xx, **and** Min-Min-chan **for either reviewing, faving, and/or alerting! You guys rock! I love hearing from you! ^.^

Oh, by the way, **soul-eater-evans-is-awesome**, sorry for not putting Crona in like you've asked me to twice, but it seems kinda random to me to just put her in there out of no where. I don't know, that's just me. ^^; I said this to you in a review reply once, but I guess you didn't read it…

**ONE MORE THING AND THEN I'LL SHUT UP- I PROMISE: **I am very honored and excited to announce that **misa325** has asked my permission to translate this story into Russian! I'm sorry if you guys could care less about this but I'm really excited about it. I haven't heard from her anymore, so I don't really know what's going on as of now, but I hope she doesn't mind me announcing it on here. ^^;

So yeah, I guess I'll see you guys next chapter. I'll try to update as soon as I can. The end is nearing…

(Wow, can any one say, LONG-ASS AUTHOR'S NOTE? It's 381 words. O.o)


	9. Blood

Chapter Nine

Hours passed, their voices grew hoarse, and she didn't feel any better. If anything, Maka felt even worse. Their search had been fruitless and now it was late. The rain had only barely let up, the clouds drifting ever so slightly to reveal a bleeding, chuckling moon. Light drizzle still fell on her already cold skin, numbing her body further.

"Yo, Maka, this god needs his beauty sleep. If you're about done here—OW! Tsubaki, what was that for!"

"You need to be more sensitive, Black Star!" The weapon turned to Maka once again, letting an apologetic smile replace her frown. "I'm sorry, Maka-chan. I know you're worried, but it is getting pretty late. Maybe… Maybe you should go home."

"I know you're right, Tsubaki-chan, but…"_ I can't just give up and stop looking. It would just feel like I was abandoning him._

Practically reading her mind, Tsubaki tried to comfort with, "You know, maybe he went back to your place while we were out here looking."

"Maybe he did…" But as the words slipped from her tongue, she couldn't help but notice the sinking feeling of déjà vu.

She remembered this scenario from not too long ago. She remembered waiting for him to come back, remembered going out to look for him, getting her hopes up as she returned, only for him to get back hours later with a heavy secret.

What would she come home to this time?

Black Star tapped his foot impatiently. Apparently being compassionate for someone other than himself had finally reached its limit. Quite frankly, she was surprised he had lasted even this long.

Surveying her friends made her feel guilty suddenly. They were both drenched from the rain and were probably cold and tired. They'd been out here for hours. She didn't have a watch with her, but it was kind of hard not to notice the sun set and the moon rise.

"Yeah, you're right, Tsubaki-chan. You guys should head back also. I don't want you guys getting sick because of me."

"Of course."

"Thanks you guys, really. I'll call you if anything comes up."

"Pfft, of course you'll call us! Who WOULDN'T want the great BLACK STAR at their side in a time of need! I—!"

"Maka-chop."

Tsubaki sighed, speaking above Black Star's exaggerated complaints. "Just ignore him. Make sure you really do call us, alright?"

Nodding, Maka said her goodbyes and started heading off.

"Man, I'm starving!" Maka could hear Black Star exclaim.

"I'll make you something once we get home."

"Great! I'll eat until my stomach explodes!"

"In that case, maybe we should stop by the store. I wonder if it's even open at this time…"

Maka couldn't help but feel a little amusement while listening to their conversation. It was a wonder how they were complete opposites yet they seemed to click so well. She was really grateful for them, though- always has been, always will be. Just how she knew she could depend on them, they know they could depend on her.

But now, there was another special someone that needed her help.

Squaring her shoulders, she prepped herself mentally for the onslaught of shouting, of crying, of questions, of anything she knew would happen once she got home. Whatever came next, she'd face it with Soul.

It was going to be a gruesome journey, she knew, but they'd get through it. She wouldn't allow something like this break them apart. Together, she knew they could get through anything.

_They just had to._

Maka looked up at the sky, hope and determination burning bright in her eyes. And then-

Fear.

Her heart clenched and her legs _could not be moving any slower_ as she ran _faster than the speed of light_. Every second in which she got closer took longer than eternity because anything could happen in between that time and because-

The moon was bleeding.

x.X.x

_He leaned against the doorway, a backpack filled with clothes slung carelessly over his shoulder. Soul knew that Wes was already aware of his presence, so he watched his older brother hunch over some music sheets while he patiently waited to be acknowledged. The soothing scribble of a pencil was the only sound that filled the dark room. With an almost indiscernible, wistful smile, he thought there was an odd familiarity to the scenario._

_He remembered days in which Wes hovered around Soul protectively when he was much younger. Well, Soul always assumed that that was Wes's version of hovering, which was mainly staying in the same room with Soul as they each did their separate things, usually composing music. Compared to their strained relationship now, it was almost… heartwarming._

_Soon enough, the scribbling stopped. "Is today the day?"_

"_Yup."_

_Wes turned to look at him. It was a bit unnerving how he couldn't see his face, since the room's only source of illumination – a lamp – was behind him, shadowing Wes's expression. Not even the moon provided much light, seeming to prefer hiding behind a curtain of clouds._

"_I will no longer be here if you come back," Wes's seemingly disembodied voice said from the darkness._

"_I'm not really planning to."_

"_Do you really hate Mother and Father so much?"_

_Soul didn't humor him with a response. _

"_Don't be so immature. At least have the decency to tell them you're leaving tonight."_

"_Wes," he sighed exasperatedly, running his fingers through his hair. "Didn't we talk about this already?"_

"_It's not like they won't notice."_

"_With them you never know." He ignored Wes's bitter, weary sigh._

"_What am I supposed to tell them?"_

"_Well, you could always _not_ tell them I went to Shibusen."_

"_You can't expect me to lie to the people that raised me and put a roof over my head!"_

"_It's not like you haven't done it before!" Soul shouted back, remembering the times when Wes would sneak out to do something or other late at night. He never did find out what he had been up to._

"_Lower your voice. You'll wake them, and then you'll have no other choice but to explain why you are up at this hour with a bag filled with clothes," he warned, then returned back to the original topic. "Besides, it's been years. I've matured. I've no reason to hide anything from them."_

"_Oh, come on, Wes!" He threw his arms up in the air, frustrated. "What does it matter to you? You're going off to college soon anyway!"_

_He evaded by saying, "Soul, you're running away. That's what you're doing."_

"_Don't you think I know that! Dammit, that's exactly what I want to do! I want to get out of this place! You tell them that I went to Shibusen and they'll drag me back here. I don't even know why if apparently I'm such a disgrace to the family for being a Wea-"_

"_You'll die."_

_His anger died down and he could almost feel his rebellious spirit deflate as his arms fell limply at his sides. The silence between them was only broken by the thud of his backpack falling to the ground. He was at a loss. Of all conclusions, it hadn't occurred to him that simple worry would be Wes's reason for him to stay. "Wes, I… won't."_

"_How can you be so sure about that?"_

"_I just…am." And he was. Somehow, he knew that when he went to Shibusen, something – or rather, someone – would keep him alive, would keep him motivated enough to stay alive. The thought alone drove him up the wall with curiosity and strength._

"_I find that rather hard to believe."_

"_Stop being so close-minded and arrogant," he scoffed, anger returning._

_Wes disregarded the statement. "Look, I know you hate what they say about Weapons, but that's no reason to be so- so-"_

"_Reckless? Hot-tempered? So willing to throw my life away? Come on, Wes, don't tell me you let them brain wash you."_

_Those words along with some other more hurtful ones had been passed around the dinner table, regardless of his presence. It always made him seethe, but he knew there wasn't much he could do about it. Though the routine had started a couple of years ago, it hadn't grown as intense as it was now until the day his parents found out about Shibusen's offer._

_They didn't want him to go. They said he'd be wasting the opportunities his family gave him, the money, the status, all of it. But all that wasn't enough to fulfill him. He still felt he needed something or someone to complete him. The more he thought about it, the greater the urge grew, to the point where he just felt empty at the mere prospect of not being able to find _that_ something or someone. But…_

_They claimed he'd be throwing his life away, but what other good would he do here? He'd simply be miserable. They said whatever scornful thing they could think of, trying to make him ashamed of being what he is, trying to get him to stay, though Soul wasn't sure why since it didn't seem like it made a difference whether he stayed or not. They said they hadn't brought him up in that way and mourned for where they went wrong._

_His parents spoke of sureness, of willingness, of the need and responsibility a Weapon took upon _its_ technician. (Yes, always emphasizing the 'it'. He acted like it didn't sting. ) Was it simply because they were partners? Was he going to be forced to do that, like a tool that his parents said all Weapons were? He supposed he'd get it once he actually arrived at Shibusen (and for some reason, he found himself eager to find out)._

_That is, if he ever even got the chance to leave._

"_You know very well that I wouldn't say that, Soul."_

"_Nah, maybe not. But you were thinking it." He acted like it didn't bother him when Wes didn't respond._

_With a tight-lipped nod, Soul was about to leave without another word—_

"_Have you checked your calendar lately?"_

_-then froze mid-step, gripping the strap of his backpack tightly._

"_It'll only be a couple of months before his sentence is over."_

"_Yeah…" Honestly, he hadn't even thought of that for years, but now that Wes brought it up…_

"…"

"_It's not going to stop me, if that's what you're thinking."_

_The violinist sighed, but smiled politely. His smile was the same one he used to charm the Grieg family at fancy dinner parties; the same one that he flashed at servants when they did something wrong and he was asking them to re-do it; the same one he was giving Soul right now. It was cold. "It was worth a try."_

"_Scaring me into staying? That's harsh." He didn't even remember the guy all that well, anyway._

"_If it'll make you stay…"_

_Soul shook his head before Wes could finish his sentence, denying him even the possibility. _

"_Fine. I see how it is." Soul could sense his hesitation as he pleaded, "Just promise me you'll be safe."_

_Nodding and waving his hand flippantly, Soul left_.

x.X.x

'_W__es, I broke our promise.'_

He still could not move, not when Marvin locked the door, not when he tauntingly stepped forward, not when his arms snaked around him ever so slowly and pinned his arms to his sides. He still could not believe it, not when the hands began rubbing up his sides, not when his breath caught in his throat, not when he suddenly found fingers tightly wound around his neck.

Broken out of the spell, he finally reacted. Soul grabbed the other's fingers, and they both froze, Soul with his heart in his mouth, Marvin with a smirk. They stayed that way for hours, for milliseconds, he didn't even know, didn't care, not when the other was _so close, too close_.

And then the man's lips were on his neck and Soul felt the world being pulled from beneath him. He didn't want this; not here (in his room, in his safe place, in his haven), not again_, not again_, and Soul felt _cold_.

_Oh God, Maka, I need you._

He stood there numbly, at a loss of what to do, dreading what was to come, but then it stopped and the arms dropped away from him, and his hope dared to soar.

"I'm bored of you, Evans. You don't got nothing new to show me. All those years I waited in jail, only to be disappointed by your lame, whore-ish self. I don't know why I was so surprised though, considering you're such a pitiful thing."

Soul squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to let the words get to him, because they weren't true, they weren't true, no matter how many times he had heard them being repeated to him, _they weren't true_.

"Y'know, I know who I'm taking next," Marvin stated casually as though he were merely picking which movie he would go see that weekend. "That partner of yours." He whistled. "She's definitely one to look at. Though in the chest area—"

Soul's fist hurt.

Marvin looked stunned, his head suddenly snapped to the side. His cheek was quickly turning red as fury blazed in those blue eyes.

Oh.

"YOU LITTLE _SHIT_!"

Suddenly he was shoved against the wall painfully, hands back around his neck. He pulled at them, but they were relentless, and he was running out of breath and his panic was starting to rise and he couldn't do anything but flail—

He managed a not-very-well-placed kick to Marvin's shin, but it did the job. The man yelped and Soul dropped to the ground, taking in deep breaths.

Still dazed, he couldn't block the kicks that were swiftly delivered to his ribs. He heard a sickening crunch and howled at the pain, lying on the floor uselessly, panting, and curling around the pain. He looked at man cackling evilly above him through his bangs.

"I'm done, Evans."

Soul watched warily as Marvin reached into his jacket, eyes widening when he took out a gun.

He grinned, a wild look in his eyes, and pointed the deadly weapon at the boy on the ground. "Goodbye, pal."

He only reacted instinctively. Bracing himself for the pain, he tackled the man's legs. They both flew back, onto the floor, and the shot was fired. Soul didn't know where it hit, as he was busy try to regain his breath. Marvin kicked around, and Soul rolled away, not wanting another broken rib.

And then he spotted it, under his bed. He reached for it, hoping the man wouldn't notice right away.

Marvin stood, gun once again aimed at Soul. He glared, grabbed the hard-cover book from beneath his bed, and whacked the other's hands. The action had a satisfying result; Marvin yelled, the gun clattered to the ground, and Soul was quick to pick it up. His heart hammered in his chest as he stood, gun aimed shakily at the evil, evil man. It was now that he realized that he wasn't sure about what to do.

Marvin, however, did not look bothered at all. He smirked at the younger boy coolly, making Soul's stomach flip. "I'm impressed, Evans. Tell me, why didn't you do this before?"

The white-haired boy hunched over slightly, the painful throbbing in his chest making it hard for him to breathe. _Don't listen to him, dammit! Just pull the trigger!_

"I know why. It's because you wanted it."

Soul felt nauseas. "Sh-shut up…"

"You wanted it, so you didn't fight it."

"No, I-I didn't… I didn't want it…"

"Can you imagine how disgusted everyone will be when they find out what you did?"

"SHUT UP!" he cried, squeezing his eyes shut. "Shut up or I'll put a fucking bullet in your brain!"

He heard a faint "tch" noise come from the other man, and he forced himself to open his eyes. Marvin was smirking again. "No worries. I've got another gun," he bluffed, patting his pocket.

Or at least, Soul thought he was bluffing.

He should've really been expecting it, considering how everything seemed to be against him lately. This heavy realization only hit him though when the slick barrel of a second gun was aimed right between his eyes.

Well, fuck.

Not only was he facing what had to be some crazy incarnation of evil itself, but now he could see his own death, could picture the way his blood would run through his white hair, letting it match the color of his wide-open, dead eyes. And still he trembled like a coward, like the pathetic, insignificant human he was.

The gun cocked.

_Pull the damn trigger, just pull it, pull it__, pull it!_

His finger tightened, his quivering increased, and he felt as though he wasn't getting enough oxygen.

_I can't._

The devil smirked.

_DO IT__ OR _DIE_!_

_I CAN__'T-!_

**Bang**_._

Red.

Everywhere.

Splattered over the walls, all over the floors, staining and tainting it all.

Blood.

Everywhere.

He couldn't breathe.

Oh God.

The door burst open.

"SOUL_!_"

x.X.x

July 8, 2010_- So obviously, there's gonna be another update. I apologize to those who are tired of me and congratulate those who wished for another chapter… _

**I'm very sorry for the long-ass wait. I don't know why this**** was giving me so much trouble to write. Then my computer decided to die. FML**

_Thanks to my wonderful cousin (even though she'll probably never read this) who allowed me to use her laptop countless times in order for me to write this, even if it did take forever because I only got to see her every other day._

_On the up side, I've got very exciting news!_ **Impkat **_has offered her artistic skills to draw a __doujinshi__ of this story! Yay! 8D_

_I actually haven't talked to her in a while, so I'm not sure how everything is going, but I'm still very grateful to you! X3_

_I'll definitely try my best to not take THIS long for the last chapter OTL I hope you guys don't hate me too much._

_I'd like to__ sincerely thank _**Primitiveradiogoddess, MexiJew, misa325, ambrie-chan, fingers-falling-upwards, Soaha, aMMaROXx, your fan, 0laura0, soul-eater-evans-is-awesome, Impkat, ariahs kawaii, ZombeiKid, Morgan-Chann, Fluteplayer08, kyoko-tan, LittleGreenDevil, Spooky4ever, .., Vespisia, jAYjUKUKiTTY, so X ma is awesome, mew-xena, 1-FearInHeart-1, Kozarr, Hitotoki, Lifelong-Lemon-Lover, The Second Boss,**_ and _**iEatSoulz**_ for either reviewing, fave-ing, or alerting!_

_I'm so very sorry if I left you out or if I misspelled your username (just tell me and I'll fix it ASAP). Also I'm really anxious to just post this up already (God knows you've waited for very long) so please excuse the grammar errors and the fact that this chapter has no song OTL_


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